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by Abigail Van Buren

Aversion to Alcohol Leaves Man Out of the Mix

DEAR ABBY: I have an extreme aversion to alcohol and those who consume it. I suspect that it comes from having a father who was a violent, emotionally abusive alcoholic. Alcohol has zero appeal for me and, as I'm in my mid-20s, it's difficult for me to go on outings with friends without having to go to a bar. I become that grumpy, silent person in the corner.

Because of this, my fiancee has begun socializing with her family and our friends without me. Most recently, they celebrated a sibling's 21st birthday and left me home across the country. Talking to her and knowing she's at a bar and drinking makes me extremely angry, and we almost always end up in a fight about it.

I know this is MY problem. Do you have any advice on getting over it? -- DOESN'T TOUCH THE STUFF IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR DOESN'T TOUCH: Yes. Either get counseling for your issues and to help you recognize that not everyone who enjoys an alcoholic beverage is an alcoholic, or find a woman to marry whose views more closely match your own. There is a support group called Adult Children of Alcoholics that might be helpful to you if you attend some meetings. You can find a group near you by going to

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