Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Party Guest Feels Singled Out by Subtle, 'Special' Treatment

DEAR ABBY: I was invited to a small gathering of women. I arrived punctually, was greeted by the hostess and asked if I wanted some water to drink. I accepted. As I looked around the room, everyone else had a glass of wine. When one other woman arrived a little while later and joined our group, the hostess asked her if she wanted wine or water to drink.

I have never abused alcohol. Why was I not given a choice? I later found out that all the other women had been given a "show up" time that was a half-hour earlier than my "show up" time.

I am hurt by the way I was treated. What are your thoughts? -- SECOND-CLASS CITIZEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR SECOND-CLASS CITIZEN: I think your hostess could learn a few things about hospitality, because you were treated shabbily. As it stands, you have nothing to lose by asking her why because I can't imagine that you would ever accept another invitation from the woman if one is offered.

Read more in: Etiquette & Ethics