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by Abigail Van Buren

Girlfriend Kept in Shadows Begins to See the Light

DEAR ABBY: I am 21 and confused. My boyfriend, "Ethan," and I broke up five months ago, but we recently got back together. The problem is, he hides the fact that we're together. I'm not allowed to put anything on Facebook or even comment or "like" anything on his page. He hardly even talks to me or comes to see me, and when we do talk or see each other, we end up in a fight. We used to be great together, but things are no longer the way they were.

Ethan insists he's not cheating on me, but it's hard to believe him, because when we got back together he had been talking to a girl who lives a few miles away from him. I don't want to end our relationship. Ethan says he loves me and doesn't want to leave me, but I don't know what to think anymore. Any advice? -- DRIFTING IN OHIO

DEAR DRIFTING: Yes. Wake up, honey. The relationship you cherished with Ethan is over. A man who is in love with a woman sees and talks with her often, and doesn't hide her from the world or get into a fight with her every time he sees her. That he would forbid you to mention that you are back together on Facebook and refuse to permit you to comment on his posts is a huge red flag.

You asked my advice, and here it is: Take a giant step backward and see Ethan for who he is -- a person who doesn't tell the truth and is very likely a cheater. If he was sincere, he'd be telling the world the happy news about your reunion.

Read more in: Love & Dating