DEAR ABBY: I'm a 55-year-old gay male who has been with my now-spouse, "Owen," in a loving, committed relationship since 2005. While earlier we could not legally marry, in 2006 we had a commitment ceremony bringing together close friends and family to acknowledge and celebrate our relationship. In 2013, Owen and I were finally able to legally marry in California.
My dilemma comes from people who don't know what to call us. People often refer to my spouse as my "friend" or "partner." At times I say nothing, but more often than not, I find myself saying, "Oh, you mean my husband." Some of them thank me for the clarification; others just look at me with a blank stare.
Owen never corrects them because he feels it isn't his place. I feel it's my responsibility to do so, first so as to not play down the significance of our relationship, but also to educate these people. Do you think this is inappropriate? -- MARRIED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR MARRIED: Not at all. The people who refer to you and Owen as "partners" and "friends" are using terminology that is evolving because marriage among same-sex couples is still relatively new. As it becomes more commonplace, that will change. In the meantime, it's completely appropriate for you and Owen to speak up.
P.S. For any reader who may not already know, gay men refer to their spouse as their husband and lesbians refer to theirs as their wife.