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by Abigail Van Buren

Young Bride Must Stand Firm With Unsupportive Family

DEAR ABBY: I'm 19 and recently engaged. My parents refuse to acknowledge my ring or discuss my wedding plans. I have brought up the idea of moving to where my fiance is, but they think it's a horrible idea because they'll miss me. My grandfather has been trying to guilt-trip me into staying by saying things like, "We would miss you. But you don't care about that or us at all!"

It's not true, Abby. How do I keep my family informed about my wedding plans and move within the next three months without them feeling hurt? -- DETERMINED IN TEXAS

DEAR DETERMINED: Tell your parents and grandparents that you love them, but you're an adult and need to go where your fiance is. Tell them you and your fiance would love to have them present when you take your vows, and hope they will be emotionally supportive. Be sure to calmly explain that your decision has nothing to do with not caring about them; it's about building a future with the man you love. They may miss you, but in time they'll adjust.

Read more in: Family & Parenting