DEAR ABBY: My best friend died from the flu in November. She was only 63 and had been my friend for 23 years. She died because she was stubborn and insisted to all her friends -- myself included -- that she was "fine" and didn't need to see a doctor or go to the emergency room.
We had all threatened to come and drag her to the doctor or the ER or call 911, but because she insisted she was getting better, we took her word for it. Now we're kicking ourselves for not getting her the help she obviously needed.
Abby, please tell your readers that when a friend or family member is sick enough to cause this kind of concern, to ignore the person and get her (or him) to a doctor! I will miss my friend every day for the rest of my life because I can no longer call to say good morning. Her name was Abby, too, and she was the best friend I've ever had. -- DEVASTATED IN TARZANA, CALIF.
DEAR DEVASTATED: I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. But none of you should blame yourselves for what happened to her. She made an unwise choice.
It is not unusual for people who experience serious symptoms to go into a state of denial ("Let's wait," "It will pass," etc.). But unless your friend was experiencing extreme respiratory distress or an unusually high fever, she might have recovered from that virus without intervention.
P.S. I can't help but wonder if your friend got her flu vaccination last fall when they started being offered. While it's not 100 percent effective for everyone, it is effective in many people. I get one every year, and it's worth discussing with your doctor.