DEAR ABBY: Every year as the holidays roll around, my husband and I get the same speech from certain elderly relatives: "You HAVE to spend the holidays with us because it might be our last." I am so tired of this guilt trip being laid on us -- and I'm sure a lot of other people are, too.
Just because someone is old doesn't mean he or she is next in line to kick the bucket. When I explain to relatives that my husband and I wish to stay home and make only short visits to them during the holidays, someone always guilt-trips us and we cave in.
What can be done? -- TRAPPED IN BRANDON, FLA.
DEAR TRAPPED: I have a response for the people you feel are manipulating you, but before I offer it, I should remind you that what they are saying will at some point be true. When that happens, can you handle the guilt? If the answer to that is yes, then proceed:
The response to the statement, "You have to spend the holidays with us because it might be our last," is:
"Then it's all the more important that we start NOW to establish our own holiday traditions, because it will lessen our heartbreak when that happens. Please join us at OUR home."