DEAR MISS MANNERS: We were just invited, one week before the event, via social media, with no details, to our niece's 3-month-old son's baptism.
We were never contacted about the birth, but saw on social media that she had a son. No other details have been provided, and we never received even so much as a telephone call from her or her parents.
What gift, if any, is appropriate? We are always excited about a new baby no matter what the circumstance, but we are in a bit of a quandary. And, do we reply by social media?
GENTLE READER: You may, but Miss Manners would advise you to contact the parents or the new mother herself to send your best wishes. At that time, you can ask if there is anything the new parents might need, although a present is optional.
Even if you feel affronted -- as well you might -- any real future communication will clearly have to be initiated by you. In this age where communication is universal, but not personal, it is up to the polite few to model good behavior and forge actual connections. Particularly if you want to meet this baby before he is able to send the social media notices himself.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)