DEAR MISS MANNERS: We were at a high-end, but small, group cocktail party. One of the guests promptly sat down on the sofa, poured himself another glass of wine and kicked off his shoes. I viewed this as inappropriate but couldn't find an etiquette rule.
GENTLE READER: It is difficult for Miss Manners to think of a form of entertaining that occurs around meal time -- but without providing either sustenance or a place to sit down -- as a formal event, no matter the price tags on the dresses. To her mind, a high-end cocktail party is either a tea or a dinner party.
She therefore empathizes with the guest who prefers sitting to looking over the shoulder of his current conversation partner in hopes of finding a better one.
Removing one's shoes, however, is a step too far. Written etiquette is light on the subject because until relatively recently, it seemed obvious that guests were expected to keep their clothes on, an assumption that began to erode when hosts started asking guests to leave their shoes at the door.