DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: One of the reasons I broke up with my old girlfriend was she never wanted to do much besides spend time with family and friends. She is completely wrapped up with those two groups and if I didn’t tag along to meetups and family events, we hardly ever went anywhere.
Sex seemed like something we had mostly just to please me. It was like being part of a middle-aged couple, and we are both in our mid-twenties.
The new woman I have been seeing is just the opposite. She is always up for adventures in the outside world and in her bed.
It has been a new world for me and I like most of what she has brought into my life.
The one thing I am struggling with is that I am not the only person she shares her freedom with. At first I thought it was hot. Now I am beginning to feel like I want things more exclusive.
I am almost positive she will shoot down any idea of being exclusive, so am I stupid to even ask? --- MAYBE SHE’S A LITTLE TOO FREE
DEAR MAYBE SHE’S A LITTLE TOO FREE: It sounds like you went from A to Z in one quick jump, as sometimes happens when one relationship ends, and something completely different looks like the perfect next step.
It may not be stupid to ask to be exclusive with the woman you’re seeing, but it wouldn’t be wise to expect her to leap at the suggestion. Unless you’re providing her with everything she needs to be happy, I’m guessing she’s not going to be inclined to give up what’s working for her.
Whatever her response, it’s probably a good time for you to put some thought into what you’re really looking for in your love life. That might mean going solo for a while until someone comes along who meets you in the middle, or at least in a place that feels right for both of you.