DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend forgot my birthday. We are in a long-distance relationship, so I understand that it could be a little bit more difficult to keep track of holidays, birthdays, etc.; however, I reminded him several times. I am very big on birthdays. When it was my boyfriend’s birthday in July, I went all out for him. When my birthday came around, I got a text from everyone but him. He didn't call me, he didn't text me and he didn't make a Facebook post about me. I love him dearly, and I know for a fact that he forgot. I don't know if I can deal with someone this inconsiderate anymore. He should've had my birthday written down in his calendar. I feel that I deserve more effort. He also forgot Valentine's Day, but I let that slide. Do I continue dating this man who is otherwise very sweet and faithful? I'm embarrassed by the fact that his effort doesn’t match mine. I can't keep making excuses for him anymore. -- Pay Attention
DEAR PAY ATTENTION: I think birthdays are a big deal. It’s understandable that your boyfriend forgetting yours hurt your feelings. Talk to him about it. Ask him why he didn’t make your big day a priority. It’s only a dealbreaker if it points to him not being attentive to you more broadly. If he is otherwise on point, you will have to teach him that he needs to pay attention to your birthday -- and anything else that he misses -- if he wants you to be happy.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)