DEAR HARRIETTE: Whatever I say to my husband these days, he shuts down. I feel like I could say the sky is blue on a sunny day, and he would immediately say that it’s obviously about to rain. I don’t get it. He always has to be right, and it seems like he just wants me to be quiet. It has gotten worse over the past year. He lost his job because the place where he worked shut down due to the pandemic. I’m the one working, but we are all pitching in. It’s just that he seems to have a chip on his shoulder, and everything is directed at me. I’m exhausted by it. I feel the pressure of having to bring in all of the money in order to pay our bills. I don’t appreciate being second-guessed and doubted and yelled at constantly over nothing -- on top of the other stress. I get that men can take it extra hard when they lose work, but I can’t keep giving him a pass. What can I do? -- Off the Rails
DEAR OFF THE RAILS: Sit down with your husband, and clearly ask him to be kinder to you. Tell him you know how tough this period has been for him and the family -- and that includes you. Don’t state the obvious about how you are financially carrying the family. That will only hurt more. Point out that he has been extremely critical of you, and it hurts your feelings. Firmly invite him to be more thoughtful and supportive of you when you interact. Keep giving him examples if he needs to see what you are talking about.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)