DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I have been inseparable for the past 10 years. We’ve seen each other through relationships, breakups and many ups and downs. I’m currently single, but my best friend has been dating a guy for a few months, and she’s already head over heels in love with him. Whenever he’s around me, he becomes incredibly chivalrous and borderline flirty with me. My friend doesn’t pay it any mind and thinks of it as him just being charming, but I think he’s beginning to cross the line. I’ve even gone so far as to tell my best friend that I find him a little icky, but she got quite defensive. I think she’s blinded right now, but I don’t want her to get played; if this is how he acts in front of her, I can only imagine what he does behind her back. What should I say to her? Should I say anything at all? -- Not Charmed
DEAR NOT CHARMED: When people are swooning for each other, they often cannot see what’s in front of them. Stop trying to warn your friend about this man. Just pay attention. Whenever he does or says something to you that you find inappropriate, call him on it. Tell him you don’t think it’s funny or cute when he flirts with you. Tell him to stop when he seems to be going overboard. Make your points in front of your girlfriend so she can see and hear you when you reprimand him.
If the day comes when he does hurt your friend’s feelings, don’t rub her nose in it. “I told you so” should not be part of the conversation. As a friend, you can help her go through it. You can point out behavior that you consider to be suspicious. Suggest that she watch out for that in the future.