DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that my niece is having a baby. She is my second niece to decide to have a baby without being married. I guess I am old-fashioned, but I really do think it is going to be hard on her without the proper support. The family will rally, but I’ve already seen with my other niece that such support goes only so far, especially in a family that doesn’t have much money.
I want to recommend that my niece give the baby up for adoption. I think it will be better off in a loving home where there are resources to take care of the child. My family thinks I’m crazy to make such a suggestion. When I do the math, I don’t see another way. Should I do the breakdown on paper to show my niece what I mean, or should I leave it alone? -- Encouraging Adoption
DEAR ENCOURAGING ADOPTION: Tread carefully. Unless your niece asks you directly what you think she should do, you should keep your thoughts to yourself. If the opportunity presents itself, you can talk to her about the future. You can recommend that she list specific ways she intends to align with her ideas. She stands a chance of being successful if she has a plan. Encourage proactivity in her life. Be there to bolster that.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)