DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is really competitive. She is an athlete and plays a lot of sports at school. We are pretty goofy and make a game out of everything. We will race each other, make bets and see who can do things the fastest. But sometimes it becomes nonstop. I can never just relax with her.
She is always egging me on to play her in something. Typically, she wins, but those rare times when she loses, she won’t let it go. She will ask for a rematch, and she will get mad at me if she loses. I just want to hang out like regular people without having to compete all the time, especially if it leads to her getting upset. How does someone break this habit? -- Stop the Competition
DEAR STOP THE COMPETITION: Stop taking the bait. Tell her you want to spend time with her, but you are tired of competing. Invite her to do noncompetitive activities with you where you are just together. Spend less time together with more space for just talking. Refuse to get caught up in the game when she starts it. Reduce that engagement by half.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)