Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Mom Concerned About Candy-Sneaking Kid

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife constantly makes bad decisions and throws money at her problems. She has crashed two of our cars in the past two months. She has broken pieces of her jewelry and has lost her phone a couple times. Her solution is just to buy a new one or to get it fixed. When there are so many different issues at the same time, using money to solve them adds up. We are financially stable, but I worry that if she keeps it up at this pace, it will put us in a bad position.

I can’t keep sitting by as our money is thrown at problems that could have been easily prevented if she had been more careful. I’ve told her that we cannot keep wasting money, but then she reminds me that she is the sole provider in our house and she would rather spend the money than figure out something else. Should I stay with someone that is financially irresponsible? -- Wife Throws Away Money

DEAR WIFE THROWS AWAY MONEY: It sounds like there is a deeper issue afoot. Your wife may be feeling pressured because she is the principal breadwinner as well as indignant that you would say anything about money, given that you aren’t bringing any in.

You two need to talk openly about the pathway to the future. What do you need to ensure that your family will be financially and spiritually happy? What does your wife need to be able to slow down and be more mindful? What can you do to support her and the family more actively so that you share the pressures and burdens of bills, household responsibilities and overall duties?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)