Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Reader Wants To Invite Absentee Dad to Wedding

DEAR HARRIETTE: So many people keep dying around me. I’m getting depressed. The old people are understandable, even though it’s sad, but recently several people who are my age, mid-50s, have come down with all kinds of diseases and are dying. I know that people get ill at all ages, but it’s hard for me to watch my friends slip away. How can I deal with so much death and stay positive? -- Death Toll

DEAR DEATH TOLL: Start by getting a complete physical so that you have an assessment of your own health. If there are any concerns that you need to attend to, focus on them now.

Next, take a good look at your life and the people who are still living who matter to you. Be conscious and intentional as you make your list. Then reach out to one of them for a call; try to schedule a meal, a visit or some other engagement with someone every week. If you continue to think about your loved ones who are alive, you may be able to stay positive through these difficult times.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)