Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

College Student Questions Calling Out Friends

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I return to college, there are a couple of people I will be seeing for the first time since the semester ended who I promised to make plans with and didn’t end up seeing. While some of this was my fault, sometimes the other person flaked on me, which upset me.

I feel awkward facing them, but we will probably just act as close as we were before summer break. Should I mention anything to them? Is it worth losing a friend or two as a result of me calling out my “college friends”? -- College Friend

DEAR COLLEGE FRIEND: If you want to own up to your lack of follow-through over the summer, by all means say something to your friends. You can greet them and let them know how happy you are to see them and apologize for not getting together over the summer as you had planned. Don’t make a big deal of it, though. Don’t call out anybody for not following through. It is common for people to pledge to get together over the break but not end up doing it.

Rather than holding a grudge against anyone or feeling bad about yourself, just acknowledge that the get-togethers did not happen. Vow to do better next time. Be more mindful of making commitments to others. Do your best not to say that you are going to do something unless you feel confident that you will be able to make it happen.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lose my contacts easily due to my habit of rubbing my eyes. I want to get this habit out of my system, and I also want to be better at not panicking when I have only one contact in my eye. My eyesight is so bad that I can see only what is right in front of me, and I get headaches when I lose one of my contacts. What can I do to eliminate this habit and also make sure I can do my job properly if I lose a contact? -- Bad Eyes

DEAR BAD EYES: Check with your ophthalmologist to see if moistening eye drops will help you. You may be rubbing your eyes because they are dry. Instead of constantly rubbing, you may want to use drops. You need to train yourself to keep your hands away from your eyes.

Further, you should have a pair of backup contacts and a pair of backup glasses that you keep with you. If you lose a contact lens, you should have either handy so that you don’t have to go all day with compromised sight. Even if the prescription in your glasses is thick, put them on if you have no other options. You are likely far more self-conscious about your glasses than others will be. What’s essential is that you see well and avoid unnecessary headaches.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)