Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Husband Ignores Reader After Stressful Day at Work

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband worked really late the other day. I called him throughout the day to make sure he was OK and to share a cheerful word or two. When he finally got home, I called out to say hello. He didn’t say anything, went into the back of the house and disappeared for hours. I know he was exhausted, but the least he could have done was to have said hello to me before holing up. I don’t want to make a big deal of it, but it hurt my feelings. I don’t know when the right time would be to bring it up. He is completely stressed by work. I don’t want to add to that, but I do want him to be kind to me. How can I get him to think of me? -- Stressed-Out Husband

DEAR STRESSED-OUT HUSBAND: I don’t think this is the right time to bring up your sensitivity. Stress shows itself in many different ways, including not being as thoughtful or kind to loved ones as would be preferable.

Instead of focusing on your husband’s inattentiveness on that one evening, do your best to stay positive. Try to talk to him to get a sense of how he’s doing. Remind him that you want to be there to support him in whatever ways you can. You should also tell him that this period is tough for both of you. Ask him if you can support each other as you go through this. This is how you can get across the message that you are worried and concerned and that it is important for you that he stay connected to you through this period.