DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is causing emotional stress to every woman he dates. I know from observing him that he still has feelings for his son's mother, with whom he was in a relationship for five years. He typically denies this and strings along the women he dates.
As a woman, I dislike that he does this, but being that he is a friend, I want to help him. How can I offer tips without overstepping my boundaries? -- Advising a Friend
DEAR ADVISING A FRIEND: People often don’t listen to advice about relationships until they are ready and have asked for it directly. For this reason, your advice should come only when your friend agrees to receive it.
Decide when what you observe about your friend’s behavior is too much. If his behavior toward women offends you or makes you feel uncomfortable, you can tell him your honest feelings. If you feel you need to distance yourself from him because you can’t stand to watch him hurt others’ feelings, you can tell him that. You may even need to step away for a while. Your actions of self-protection may provide the wake-up call he needs.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)