DEAR HARRIETTE: My relationship with my mother is strained. She was always hard on me growing up and has yet to validate any of my accomplishments as a woman. I am 44 years old now and have had many personal successes. One of my greatest is my 2-year-old daughter.
I was previously told by doctors that I couldn’t conceive any children, so having my daughter was a blessing on my life. However, my mother ignores this fact and constantly lashes out and shows her disapproval with the fact that I am not married and had a child in a nontraditional way. My relationship with my child’s father is the most stable and happiest one I have been in. I want my mother to stop looking at me through such a negative lens. This hurts, and I wonder why my mother does not show me the support that I need. -- Mother's Approval
DEAR MOTHER’S APPROVAL: Sit down with your mother and tell her you need her help. Outline your concerns just as you did in this letter. Tell her how much her judgment hurts you, and plead with her to offer you love and support instead.
If she refuses or seems unable to bite her tongue, you may need to distance yourself from her for a while. Your absence may help her to think about you and your daughter differently.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)