DEAR HARRIETTE: I have one friend who is really rich. She inherited money from both of her parents and never has to work again. She does a lot of philanthropic work, which is great. She isn’t a spendthrift, but she can afford a lifestyle that I can’t even imagine. We have gone out for dinner or drinks a few times and split the tab, and I could hardly pay my part. I don’t know why she wouldn’t just foot the bill. She knows my situation. I am not asking for handouts. It’s just if I were in her position, I would be more generous, especially when she knows that I am struggling financially right now. -- Rich Friend, Poor Friend
DEAR RICH FRIEND, POOR FRIEND: Don't count what’s in somebody else’s wallet. Rather than pondering why your friend isn’t more generous, be clear about what you can and cannot afford. If she wants to go out somewhere you know you can’t afford, speak up in advance. Suggest that you go to a different place that is within your budget. Plan a get-together at home, where you can prepare food and drinks affordably. Or plan an outing that doesn’t cost anything at all.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)