DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a call from a family member who says she wants to visit me with about 10 other relatives this summer. Nice idea, I guess. Terrible timing, though. She wants to come at a time when my family and I are usually traveling. She didn’t ask, by the way. She informed me that they were coming and then listed the things they want to do while they are here. One good thing is that they don’t expect to stay with me. I have a small apartment and couldn’t possibly house all those people. But they do expect me to host them. I don’t want to do this. How can I squash it without dashing her dreams? -- Poorly Timed Trip
DEAR POORLY TIMED TRIP: Be honest with your relative. Tell her that you don’t plan to be in the city at the time that she and the others want to come. Offer to recommend things that they might do if they come anyway, but be clear that you will not be there.
If she really wants to organize the trip at a time when you will be available, have that conversation. Discuss her ideas and expectations. You will need to be direct and honest about what you can do to support this trip. Hosting a group of 10 or more people is a big job. Be crystal clear about what you are willing and able to do and what they would need to do on their own. Be mindful of cost and upfront about what you can afford. Having frank conversations on the front end will help mitigate concerns on the back end.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)