DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new friend who has a child who she says is “on the spectrum.” I have heard the term, of course, but I have never met anyone who has autism or is considered to be on the spectrum, at least not to my knowledge.
My friend talks about some of the challenges he has interacting with other children. I would like to be ready to engage this child in a supportive way, but I don’t have a clue as to what to do. I have done some reading, enough to figure out that there are all kinds of things that could be going on with a person who is on the spectrum. Would it be rude for me to ask my new friend what she recommends? I know this is a sensitive topic, but she did bring it up. -- On the Spectrum
DEAR ON THE SPECTRUM: The most thoughtful action you can take is to speak up and tell your friend that you have thought about what she told you about her son, and you want her input so that you can welcome him in an appropriate and loving manner. Ask for her advice on how to approach him.
Many children who are on the spectrum do not like too much physical contact, and sometimes loud noises and other such disruptions can be difficult. Ask your friend what stimuli work for her son and what he tends to avoid. Chances are, she will be relieved to learn that you are proactively trying to figure out how to best engage her son. For more ideas, go to: bit.ly/2oS6JCC.