DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter met a friend at school who is related to someone I sometimes work for. I have complained about this woman ad nauseam, so I got worried as to what my daughter told her friend about her. My daughter told me that her friend made negative comments about the woman, which made me believe that my daughter also had some things to say. I asked again, but she didn't say more.
I am worried that my daughter shared too much, based on what I have told her when I have been going off at home about something that she said or did. Today I made it clear that some information is private, and other information is public. But I think it may be too late for this situation. What should I do if I am approached by my boss about what will seem like hearsay? -- HEARSAY
DEAR HEARSAY: If your boss approaches you, don't lie. You can apologize for anything that you may have said that reflected poorly on her. You can admit that sometimes you unpack the events of your day at home, and you have said some things about work that frustrated you, which you didn't expect to be repeated.
To your daughter, remind her that what you say at home, especially negative things, should be kept in confidence. The big message for you is not to unload so openly, even around your daughter. She shouldn't have to keep your secrets.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)