DEAR HARRIETTE: I visited my hometown this summer and ran into a few people I do not remember well. Here’s the thing: I moved away many years ago while most of them stayed home. They have stayed close and built their lives around each other. There’s something nice about seeing how close they are. On the flip side, it was awkward for me, as I am not part of their world anymore. In fact, I don’t remember many of the stories we shared in high school. I would like to get reacquainted with them, but I feel like they have an inside story that I don’t know. Also, they seem to put me on a pedestal because I went to the Big Apple and built my life while they stayed at home. How can I manage this situation? Part of me would like to get to know these kids as adults. -- All Grown Up, Bronx, New York
DEAR ALL GROWN UP: If you have decided that you want to devote time to reconnecting with these people, start by telling them. Admit that you don’t remember many details from your past, nor do you want to live in the past. Tell them that you would like to get to know them today and forge a friendship in the present. Tell them you appreciate the relationship that you witnessed among them and you would be honored to be included in their circle. Be fully present as you see how things unfold. Let the relationships take time to blossom.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)