DEAR HARRIETTE: I grew up in an affluent town, but in a not-so-affluent family. Everyone I went to school with had tons of money, but my family never did. As I’m getting older (I’m 18), my friends are starting to want to go out and do activities that cost a lot. I don’t want to miss out on the dinners, shopping sprees and outings my friends go on because I get bad “FOMO” (fear of missing out), but I can’t keep up with their lifestyles. They all use their parents’ credit cards, so money is never an issue for them. I’ve been saying no to a few of the things that they do, but they always try to pressure me to tag along. How can I partake in the activities my friends go on when half the time I can’t afford them? -- If I Were a Rich Girl, Greenwich, Connecticut
DEAR IF I WERE A RICH GIRL: It is likely that your friends already know why you can’t hang with them. You should be honest and direct with them. Say that you would love to do all of the things they invite you to participate in, but you simply can’t afford it. Tell them you will hang with them when you can, and that’s it. If someone offers to cover your dinner or other expenses on occasion, that’s great, but don’t ask for it.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)