Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Invitation to Summer House Raises Questions

DEAR HARRIETTE: Whenever my husband drinks too much, he talks about our sex life in detail -- especially if we are hanging out with friends. He uses this opportunity to badmouth me about what I’m doing in the bedroom that isn't to his satisfaction. This is humiliating. I admit that we have been having difficulties that include lack of intimacy, but I do not appreciate him trying to shame me in the company of our friends when he is drinking. How can I get him to stop? -- Drunk Speak, Detroit

DEAR DRUNK SPEAK: It sounds like you and your husband need therapy. Obviously, the state of your sex life is bothersome to your husband if he tends to blurt out your business when he is under the influence. Should he stop drinking? Of course, but that is a symptom of a much bigger issue. Do your best to get your husband to go to therapy with you so that you can talk through your issues and work to figure out how to come back together intimately. You may also consider a sex therapist who specializes in helping couples rekindle romance.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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