DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother is visiting from New York City and is staying with me in my apartment in Los Angeles for a week. We are very close and usually tell each other everything. In the past couple of months, he has been asking me for money quite frequently. They are not huge amounts, but it’s still money that I’ve earned that I’m now giving away. When I ask my brother what the money's for, he says for food and transportation, but I have a feeling he owes someone money and needs to pay it off. Should I push my brother into telling me? -- Brother's in a Financial Pickle, Los Angeles
DEAR BROTHER’S IN A FINANCIAL PICKLE: It is OK for you to stop giving your brother money. Tell him that you feel uncomfortable doling out money to him regularly. He should be able to pay for his own food and transportation. You are happy to host him at your home, but you do not want to pay for his livelihood. Add that if he is in trouble and needs to talk about it, you are all ears, but the constant money transfer must stop now.
If you stop giving him cash, this may trigger your brother to be more forthcoming -- especially if there is a loan involved. Just be clear about how far you intend to go to help him. It’s great to support your brother, but there has to be a limit, for his own good and for your wallet.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)