DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to a party by a woman who is in one of my social clubs. It sounds like it will be a nice event. I assumed that she had invited other members of our club because she is friends with them as well, so I made the mistake of asking one of them if we could share a ride to the party. That’s when I realized she knew nothing of it. I feel bad now, and it’s a little awkward. I made it uncomfortable for both of them. Should I call the host and tell her and even ask her to invite the other friend? -- Foot in Mouth, Brooklyn, New York
DEAR FOOT IN MOUTH: You are adults. What you should do is nothing. It’s already obvious to the uninvited friend that she didn’t make the list. There’s nothing wrong with that. People are entitled to invite whomever they want to their parties. You would be making the host feel guilty by informing her. She knows that she didn’t invite your other friend. It wasn’t necessarily a snub; it was the host’s choice.
The only reason I would recommend that you inform the host is if the nature of the event would make it particularly awkward for her after the fact. Otherwise, let it be. In the future, do not talk to anyone about another person’s party without checking in with the host first.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)