DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I are just about to graduate from college. We attended different schools, but we both plan to move to New York City after graduation, since that is where both of our jobs are.
Recently, my boyfriend has been making comments about us moving in together once we graduate. As much as I love him, I don’t think I am ready to live with him. I want to experience living in the city with my girlfriends or living on my own. This is not to say that I never want to move in with my boyfriend or that I don’t think it will happen one day; I just don’t think right now is the right time. How do I express my concerns to my boyfriend without making it seem like I am doubting our relationship? -- Don't Want to Live With Boyfriend, Philadelphia
DEAR DON’T WANT TO LIVE WITH BOYFRIEND: Well in advance of moving to New York City, you two should discuss your plans. Have you talked about marriage at all? If you think you will get married, you may want to add that to the discussion and point out that while you plan to spend your lives together, you want to live independent of him first. You want to learn to live on your own before settling down, so you are not ready to live with him yet -- that's all.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)