DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother has always been attentive and caring to all her children, but now it’s getting too much for me. I have always kept to myself, and I am content with no physical touch and having plenty of alone time. I am a recent college grad who lives at home, and I'm actively looking for a job. My mother is constantly asking if something is wrong. It gets to the point where it’s annoying, and I have an attitude and isolate myself to avoid the questions and lashing out. She comes from a good place when she asks me, but it’s frustrating because I tell her I'm fine but it seems she still wants to find something wrong. It’s pushing me away from her, and I don’t want that for our relationship. How do I reassure her that I am fine? -- Badgering Mom, Detroit
DEAR BADGERING MOM: Your mother is naturally concerned that you are a young adult still living at home, not currently employed, trying to figure out your next steps. Honestly, you probably do have some issues that make you less than “fine” under the circumstances.
One way to get your mother off your back is to share with her your ideas and plans. What type of work are you looking for? Are you setting up job interviews? What strategy are you putting into place to get you to the next level?
Share some of these thoughts with your mother. It will give her some relief in knowing that you are actively working to map out your future. It will also make it easier for you to remind her that you need alone time and that this doesn’t automatically mean that something is wrong.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)