DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a younger brother of whom I have always been very protective. Recently, he asked me about getting a tattoo. I personally have two tattoos, so I’m guessing this was why he came to me. For some reason, I really do not want him to get a tattoo. I can’t figure out why, because I’m clearly not against having them. I told him whatever he decides to get, it should mean something and should not be distracting to other people.
He sent me some of his ideas, and I hated all of them. I have tried steering him away from getting a tattoo by saying I regret getting mine. Am I being unreasonable for trying to convince my brother not to get a tattoo? Do you have any other recommendations I could try to change his mind? -- Don't Get a Tattoo, Dallas
DEAR DON’T GET A TATTOO: It doesn’t work to be a hypocrite, as it is confusing for you and for your brother. It would be better for you to be honest with him and tell him that your gut says he shouldn’t get a tattoo yet -- even though you aren’t sure why. Your ambivalence is honest, and he will see that. Further, you do not have to like his tattoo choices, but you can ask him to explain why he likes particular designs. Having him articulate his views is smart. Remind him, too, that putting them in discreet places is helpful since he wouldn’t want tattoos to stand in his way as he builds his life and work.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)