DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends and I have known each other since elementary school. We were very close when we were little, grew apart during middle school and are now closer than ever.
The reason we drifted apart was stupid middle school drama, which doesn’t affect either of us anymore, but my friend’s parents still hold a grudge against me. Every time I go over to their house, they are cold toward me compared to our other friends, and they often make jokes about how we grew apart. It has gotten to the point where I avoid going over to this friend’s house because of her parents. Should I talk about it with my friend and ask her why her parents still hold a grudge against me for something that happened so long ago? -- Judgmental Parents, Towson, Maryland
DEAR JUDGMENTAL PARENTS: Start with your friend. Ask her if she has noticed that her parents are particularly hard on you. Tell her you feel constantly judged by them and that you think it is based on the conflict the two of you had years ago. Enlist your friend to help you to change their view of you. You will likely need your friend’s direct support to get them to have a change of heart.
If you feel bold enough, you can say something directly to them. You can ask for permission to address them, and tell them that you have noticed that they seem to have an issue with you. Tell them that you and your friend have a strong bond and that you want them to welcome you. You can acknowledge that when you were kids you had a bumpy relationship, but it is in the past. Ask for them to welcome you back into the fold.