DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a former associate, and she’s always asking questions. I think it’s just what she does to people, but I find it to be annoying. She will ask about family she’s never met and my current job she’s never been to. How do I tell her to back off? I don’t want her in my circle of friends. -- Closed Circle, Portland, Oregon
DEAR CLOSED CIRCLE: When you see this former colleague, greet her and quickly shift the conversation to her. Ask about her job, her life, her family, her pet -- whatever you know to engage her in small talk. Gloss over your own life, and just say that all’s well.
Rather than allowing her to annoy you, accept that she is either trying to be friendly or fishing for information. Either way, you don’t have to give up much. Just be cordial. Speak in generalities and get her to talk about herself as quickly as you can. You do not have to invite her into your friend group. It is wise to stay friendly, though.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)