DEAR HARRIETTE: I am caught in a love triangle. I'm 22 and feel completely unsure of what to do. "Luke" is a sweet guy, and we've been friends for years, while "Chris" is a jock who has just started showing me attention. I feel horrible for juggling two guys, but only because it would hurt Luke if he found out. I know I will eventually have to choose one, but am completely torn on where to focus my energy. Should I pick the reliable choice or the daring bad boy? -- Too Much Love, Cincinnati
DEAR TOO MUCH LOVE: The person bound to be hurt the most in this situation is you. That is because you are unclear about what you want and what is important to you. It is time for you to take stock of that. What are you looking for right now? Do you want to date around, or do you want to find a committed relationship? Are you interested in Luke as a love partner or more as a platonic friend?
Start with Luke. Be ready to claim what you want to have with him. If you feel that, for now, anyway, it really is purely friendship, drum up the courage to tell him that you value his friendship the most. Be honest and say that you want to explore dating a bit and are not ready to commit. If he asks you if you have met someone else, tell him the truth. Yes, this will be hard, but if he is your longtime friend, he deserves your honesty. As far as Chris is concerned, you should also seriously think about whether dating him is worth potentially losing Luke as a friend. Sort it all out before you do anything.