DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife hates the band I want to play at a party we're hosting. I have been listening to this band for decades and have even taken her to multiple concerts. I always thought she liked them until she started putting up a huge resistance. She said that she can be subjected to it because she loves me, but that her family shouldn't have to suffer through punk rock music. I can't believe she never told me this before! Does this kill all hopes of my favorite band playing? -- Let Them Boogie, Dallas
DEAR LET THEM BOOGIE: The sad thing here is that in her effort to be supportive of you, your wife didn't create the space for the two of you to have an honest conversation about musical choices years ago. You could have learned a lot about each other's interests rather than experiencing a one-sided musical engagement for so long.
That said, you should thank your wife for being so accommodating for so long. Also, tell her you regret that you did not know earlier, as the two of you may have expanded your musical tastes together. If your wife really is repulsed by your favorite band, you probably shouldn't bring them into your shared life. That is, unless you can import two bands -- one that she likes, and your faves. More important is for you to talk about what your interests are and how you can marry them in the months and years to come.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)