DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed a new practice of people posting pictures on Facebook from times gone by. There's even a name for it, "Throwback Thursdays." I started looking at the pictures that people were posting, and it really has been a lot of fun for me. One day, though, I feel like a friend of mine crossed the line. She posted a photo that is more than 20 years old of my ex-husband and me at our wedding. I was shocked when I saw it. While that day was nice, of course, he turned out to be horrible. He was mean to me. He even beat me, and I eventually got out of that marriage. My friend knows all of that, so I was shocked to see that she would dredge up memories from my past that stir up pain just to play along with this throwback theme. A lot of people commented on the photo, too, many who didn't know I was ever married before. It caused me to have to talk about it again and to retell the story to my current husband of one year. It has been awkward and uncomfortable. What can I say to my friend to get her to never do this again? -- Violated on FB, Salt Lake City
DEAR VIOLATED ON FB: Chances are your friend was not thinking when she posted it. Sometimes people get caught up in the moment and get excited about their discoveries. The reality of the Internet is that you have the ability to share your finds instantly -- without processing how that sharing might affect another person.
Call your friend. Start by acknowledging how much you have enjoyed seeing her postings and traveling down memory lane with her. Then tell her how disturbing that one posting was for you. Ask her to take it down and not to post any other pictures of you and your ex.
In general, I recommend to people who are posting memories, do your best to limit the images to pictures of you. If you want to include other people who are not in the public eye, ask them for permission to do so first. People value their privacy and do not like it being violated.