DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor's husband passed away last year, and everyone has been pitching in and trying to help her out. Recently we noticed that she has had a gentleman caller coming to visit her with some regularity. Some of the neighbors in the building have noticed and got pretty upset about it, since her husband hasn't been dead that long. They have taken to talking about her, which is really mean-spirited in my book. She deserves a second chance. Plus, who are we to even know what her life is like? I see her smiling, and she was so sad for so long. Her husband died of cancer, and it was a very sad experience. I want these people to leave her alone. Whenever I say that, they tell me to mind my own business. Well, that's what I think they should be doing. How can I defend my neighbor? -- Shut Your Mouth, Jackson, Miss.
DEAR SHUT YOUR MOUTH: The best thing you can do in this situation is to stay out of it entirely. Don't participate in the gossip about your neighbor and her suitor. If you are friendly with the woman in question, remain friendly with her. Do not tell her that the others are talking about her. That will only hurt her feelings and make her uncomfortable. She deserves to have a chance at happiness. Being a good neighbor in this case means being supportive of her and unwilling to participate in judgment about her or anybody else.