Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

It Takes More Than Looks to Be Famous

DEAR HARRIETTE: People often mistake me for a celebrity. Quite a few people have come up and asked me if I am a certain pop star or TV actress. At first I was annoyed, but now I'm thinking maybe I should go into entertainment. If people already think I'm famous, why shouldn't I try to become famous? How would I go about doing that? -- Near Fame, Racine, Wis.

DEAR NEAR FAME: I can see why you would imagine that there is a road toward fame that is paved by a familiar face. That may even be true, but I must tell you that it is unlikely.

It's fine to feel flattered that people mistake you for somebody famous. But rather than trying to become famous by looking like someone else, why not use the opportunity to tell people who you are?

What are your interests? What do you do now? What are your dreams for the future? I say, focus on YOU. Develop your interests and talents. Become great at being you. That will then attract others to you for the right reasons.

That you happen to have a familiar face may help you to open doors. Just make sure the doors are those you want to open.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a great guy last weekend. It was at the party of a mutual friend, and the two of us seriously hit it off. We have talked on the phone every day since, and we've had three dates already. I like him a lot, and I can tell that he likes me, too. Everything has been going great.

I'm writing because he just asked if I would like to go to California with him next week. He has to go for business, and he has invited me to come and hang out with him when he's not working.

The offer is really exciting, but I'm afraid it's moving way too fast. I like him, but I feel like if I go on a trip with him, he will have certain expectations of me. I'm not a fast-moving girl, and I don't want to give him the wrong impression. Of course, I would love to go with him to California, but I don't want to make a good thing messy. What should I do? -- Tempted, Washington, D.C.

DEAR TEMPTED: The best way to stay clear of temptation is to avoid it. If it feels too early for you to go on a trip with this man, that means it is too early -- for you. If there is a future for the two of you, a little time apart will not stymie that.

Thank your beau for the invitation. Tell him that you think it's lovely that he invited you to join him on this trip but that you will be unable to go. Suggest that you make plans now for when he returns.