Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole


DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been married to my husband for nine years, but I am no longer in love with him. I met my husband in college, and we married four years later. The first five years of our marriage were amazing. We went on vacations, we traveled on a regular basis and we were living the life. However, something changed in our relationship. We've been on a steady decline for the past five years, and I would love to recreate the magical moments of our past. How can I make my relationship as it once was? -- Where Did the Love Go?, New York City

DEAR WHERE DID THE LOVE GO?: Take a few minutes and travel down memory lane. What specific activities did you and your husband enjoy the most? Which vacations do you treasure? Perhaps you can schedule a vacation with him to one of those magical destinations.

Simpler still is to create "date night." Many happily married couples schedule a weekly date where they dedicate time to each other. You can go to the movies, out to dinner, for a long walk. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it does have to be a commitment you make to your marriage to enjoy each other. Occasionally you can extend an invitation to another couple to join you for date night so that you have fun together. Making the choice to reignite your marriage is what will bring back the joy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am taking a Spanish class to complete my general requirements for graduation, and I do not feel like I am getting the necessary information from my professor. Last week, I asked him a question about Spanish sentence structure because I wanted to make some kind of sense on how to write a sentence in Spanish. My professor blew off my question and told me to memorize the photocopied lessons instead. I asked my professor if there is a book I could use as a reference; he did not recommend a book. The semester is almost halfway over, and I really would like to have a working understanding of Spanish, but I don't know what to do. -- Como Se Llama?, Newark, N.J.

DEAR COMO SE LLAMA?: Ask your teacher if you can schedule a conference with him. In a private meeting, talk to him about your concerns. Find out what the expectations are for students in your level. If you are in an entry-level Spanish class, you may not be expected to write full sentences. Find out the specifics. If you believe that you do not have the ability to execute the requirements, ask him for guidance on how to do that.

Know that memorization is a part of learning. If you understand the material that he has asked you to memorize and you follow his instruction, you may actually find that you will be learning the basics of sentence structure. Review the pages in question with him to gain clarity on the content there.