DEAR HARRIETTE: I read the following status update of one of my good friends, Jeffrey: "Hey, guys! It's time to fight for what's right. I quit my job today. No job or financial security. I'm following my dream."
I was shocked but inspired. I wanted to do the same thing. But how could I explain to my wife that I'm quitting my 10-year government job to launch a nonprofit organization? We are $10,000 in debt, and she's expecting a baby. I'm afraid this won't resonate well. What should I do? -- Afraid to Make the Break, Arlington, Va.
DEAR AFRAID: You should be frightened. Perhaps your friend was poised to be able to take such a leap of faith in his life. If so, God bless him. But you are not in the same position. Your responsibilities are rightfully telling you to reduce and ultimately eliminate your debt and create as safe a space as you can for your growing family.
Is it OK for you to be inspired and to dream about a future like Jeffrey's? Sure. But dreaming is different from acting.
I urge you to dream about your future. What does it look like in your boldest vision? With that image in mind -- and with input from your wife -- map out a plan to make your vision come true. Then work and follow the steps it takes to get there -- at your pace, nobody else's.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Should I tell my best friend that I caused her breakup more than five years ago? One drunken night, I accidentally told her ex of her trifling, cheating ways. She always wondered why he broke up with her all of a sudden, but he swore he would never tell. And he didn’t. Now they are dating again.
Every time I look at him, I think about what I did. The guilt is swirling around my head. I can't stop thinking about it.
Help me weigh the pros and cons of telling my best friend of seven years this deep, dark secret. Should I just bury this secret and act as if I didn't do anything? -- Feeling Guilty, Salt Lake City
DEAR FEELING GUILTY: I have a question for you: Why do you want to confess to your friend? If the reason is that you feel guilty, I say, get over it.
If you tell her about your indiscretion now, after she and her ex have found their way back to each other, your disclosure will be about you. But this relationship is not about you. It's about your friend.
If her ex has come back to her after learning about her previous suspect behavior, let them be. What you can learn from this situation is that it's unwise to get drunk. Bad things often happen when people drink too much. And remember to stay out of people's business. If you stay in your lane, you will be able to sleep better at night.