Say This, Not That by Ilana Kukoff and Jessica Huddy

Dating Post-Grad

Dear Ilana and Jess: I’m 23-years–old and enjoying postgraduate life. My internship turned into a successful job and things are going well. Now, I just want to find someone to settle down with. Any dating advice? - Kyle

Dear Kyle: Congratulations on your success! Dating can feel like a difficult undertaking, but there are lots of ways to conquer adulthood’s next challenge.

Be proactive. In good or bad times, your life shouldn’t be something that happens to you. In the same way that you work toward professional and academic goals, make dating a priority.

Go where the people are. You should take the old adage “put yourself out there” literally. Research local community events and groups in your area, like trivia nights — can be a helpful resource for this. Make sure you’re attending groups and events that reflect your interests, so you can meet like-minded people.

Cast a wide net. If you’re on dating apps, consider setting your location to the nearest, major city. This will expand your pool of options, which is always helpful at the onset of the dating process.

Use your resources. It never hurts to ask friends and family if there’s anyone they might introduce you to. Don’t assume that they’d do so without you asking; they may not know you’re looking to date or interested in being set up. Open the door and see what happens.

Be consistent. Meeting people is a numbers game, so keep at it. Find events you can attend regularly. For example, if you’re religious or spiritual, a house of worship can be a wonderful place to meet people who share your values. Consider other activities you can attend with regularity as well.

Do This: Be proactive, engage with your community, speak to your existing social circle, and keep at it.

Not That: Hope you meet someone randomly.

Good luck and Happy Valentine’s Day!

Say This, Not That is based on the work of Cognition Builders: a global, educational company headed by Ilana Kukoff (Founder & CEO) and Jessica Yuppa Huddy (Chief Learning Officer). Everywhere from New York City to California to Shanghai to Zurich, the Cognition Builders team is called upon by A-list entertainers, politicians, CEOs, and CFOs to resolve the conflicts that upend everyday life. When their work is done, the families they serve are stronger than ever. With their new book, Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter Kukoff and Yuppa Huddy have selected the most common conversational mistakes parents make, and fixed them. For more information, please visit: To purchase Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter visit: