Losing a pet can be a child’s first experience with death. Here’s how to help them cope

By Mikkel Becker

Andrews McMeel Syndication

Almost a year ago, we lost our 12-year-old black pug, Willy. We knew he was on his last legs, but his death was sudden and unexpected. My husband and I were out of the country, but my 10-year-old daughter, Reagan, and my mother, Teresa, were there when Willy collapsed and passed away.

Because Willy was getting on in years and suffered from diminishing health, we’d had the opportunity to talk about how much we loved Willy, how hard his passing would be, how we’d miss him and what we would do when he’d passed (including the notion of one day getting another dog). Preparation beforehand didn’t make the passing easy, but it at least gave Reagan a foundation for support in the wake of the sudden loss. Most importantly, Reagan was able to talk with the family about what had occurred.

The loss of a beloved dog, cat or other pet is traumatic for people of any age, but for children, experiencing the death of a pet can be especially painful. Not only are they losing a close companion or best friend, it’s likely the first time they are encountering loss and the finality of death.

For the child, recovery after a loss can be difficult to manage; the child may remember little to no time without the pet having been there. Life without their beloved critter is likely to look and feel vastly different than what they’ve experienced before.

There’s no one-size-fits-all way to help a child cope with and grieve the loss of a pet. But certain approaches better build the ability to cope and to fully grieve, important steps for coming to terms with -- and, when the time is right, moving forward from -- the loss of one we love. As an animal trainer and mom, I want to share three ways I’ve found to help a child to better deal with the loss of a pet.

Even before losing Willy and, before him, our other pug, Bruce, we had discussed the potential passing of a pet or person through thought-provoking books and movies that dealt with the notion of death. This offered us opportunities to talk about death, saying goodbye and moving forward when a loved one dies. For Reagan, this foundation helped her to better deal with loss when it happened.

Reflecting on the favorite things Willy had done recently also helped Reagan through her grief. It was important for her to hear that Willy felt little pain and that up until the final moment, he was at his happiest: visiting his favorite place on earth, Almost Heaven Ranch, with some of his favorite people, including her. Willy knew he was loved and felt that love up until the very end. To Reagan, that was a comforting fact in her loss.

Finally, a lasting legacy of the pet’s love is something the child can go to for comfort. For Reagan, writing notes to and drawing pictures of her dogs after their passing (Bruce died in 2015, and my parents recently lost their beloved Quixote) were ties to the lasting love she felt for her late pets.

She also appreciated having photos and a specific painting of each pug that serve as reminders of them. We gave her a special paw print charm that says, “Always with you.” This was important for her and offered her a feeling of comfort after Willy’s passing.

When asked what helped her cope the most, Reagan says, “I’m still not over it.” I completely agree. I don’t think anyone ever “gets over” the loss of their pet. But what’s important is learning to deal with the new normal while remembering the love.

Q&A

Do dogs need

special shampoo?

Q: Is it OK to use Dawn dishwashing detergent to bathe my dog? What about baby shampoo? I want to use something mild.

A: We turned to a couple of coat and skin experts to find the answer. Amelia White is a veterinary dermatologist at Alabama’s Auburn University, and Julie Ellingson is a professional dog groomer in Sacramento, California.

Dawn has a reputation for being effective because we often hear about it being used to remove crude oil from water birds after oil spills. But there’s a big difference between crude oil and the oil and dirt on your dog’s skin. Dawn isn’t made for use on dogs, and it’s too harsh for their skin -- which is thinner than our own, Ellingson says. Besides being harsh, it can cause other problems, she adds.

“I have seen more than a few ulcerated eyes in dogs from people using Dawn to strip out greasy ears. The dog shakes and the soap gets in the eyes and burns them. It’s not worth the risk.”

Baby shampoo, while gentle for babies, isn’t made for a dog’s skin, either. “The pH, or acidity, of baby skin is different than dogs’,” Dr. White says. “If you bathe dogs with human-grade shampoos, that can make them have increased scaling, or what people call dandruff.”

That’s because baby shampoo changes the pH in canine skin and makes their skin cells slough off faster than they’re supposed to, which looks like dandruff. Then you think, “Oh, no, they’re dirty,” and you bathe them more frequently, exacerbating the problem.

What should you use? There are many good, mild and effective shampoos made specifically for dogs. “Choose a dog shampoo, something that is gentle and cleansing, preferably something that is oatmeal-based,” Dr. White says. -- Dr. Marty Becker

Do you have a pet question? Send it to askpetconnection@gmail.com or visit Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker.

THE BUZZ

Tortoise runs away --

to previous home

-- A week after Sweety disappeared, the Russian tortoise turned up -- 5 miles away at the family’s previous home. The kicker? They hadn’t lived there in 10 years. Social media aided the reunion. Sweety was picked up by a woman who was driving down the street and spotted the on-the-lam tortoise. She posted a photo of Sweety, and owner Sara Coggeshall saw it. Russian tortoises have a reputation as escape artists, so a wire-reinforced fence may be in order to keep Sweety at home.

-- People in domestic abuse situations are often unwilling to leave home without their pets, who are at risk themselves from abusers, but most domestic violence shelters don’t permit pets. A New York City-based program called PALS (People and Animals Living Safely) is working to provide them with the option of bringing pets to shelters. PALS provides access to 172 apartments in five different buildings where families -- pets, too -- can stay together. Besides dogs and cats, PALS has helped to shelter fish, birds, guinea pigs, turtles, hamsters, a rabbit and a bearded dragon. More information is available at urinyc.org/uripals.

-- Rabbits need a large, safe place to play; bunny companionship as well as appropriate human interaction (loud children and rough handling can scare them); a grass- or hay-based diet (nix the carrots; they’re too sweet); good grooming; and regular veterinary care, including vaccinations. All too often, though, they don’t get those things, according to a study of more than 6,000 rabbits in the United Kingdom. Veterinarians treating them see overgrown nails and teeth, skin and digestive problems, and dirty rear ends. They can die from maggots feeding on them and appetite loss caused by poor dental health or stomach ulcers. To learn about good rabbit care, visit the website of the House Rabbit Society at rabbit.org. -- Dr. Marty Becker, Kim Campbell Thornton, and Mikkel Becker

ABOUT PET CONNECTION

Pet Connection is produced by a team of pet care experts headed by “The Dr. Oz Show” veterinarian Dr. Marty Becker, founder of the Fear Free organization and author of many best-selling pet care books, and award-winning journalist Kim Campbell Thornton. Joining them is behavior consultant and lead animal trainer for Fear Free Pets Mikkel Becker. Dr. Becker can be found at Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker or on Twitter at DrMartyBecker. Kim Campbell Thornton is at Facebook.com/KimCampbellThornton and on Twitter at kkcthornton. Mikkel Becker is at Facebook.com/MikkelBecker and on Twitter at MikkelBecker.

How much do you know about cats? Here are 9 fun and fascinating feline facts

By Kim Campbell Thornton

Andrews McMeel Syndication

We love learning new things about pets, and we’re always collecting cool bits of information about them. This week we thought we’d share some “cat-tastic” history, geography, breed lore and more with you.

-- Cats were domesticated -- as domesticated as cats can be, anyway -- probably 7,500 to 10,000 years ago, most likely in the Mediterranean region. From there, cats spread throughout the world, prized for their ability to protect crops and grain stores from mice, rats and other vermin.

-- We’ve all heard the story that in Egypt, cats were worshipped as gods, and to this day they have never forgotten it. Cats were associated with three Egyptian goddesses. Mafdet, portrayed as a cat or panther, offered protection against venomous animals and was known as “Slayer of Serpents.” Bast -- also known as Bubastis -- represented fertility and motherhood. Lion-headed Sekhmet symbolized the sun and bore the title “Lady of Slaughter.” It’s easy to see how each of these personifications arose from feline behavior.

-- The Persian is thought to be the oldest recognized cat breed, and Persians have been used to develop several other breeds.

-- We’ve all heard of a “litter” of kittens, but did you know that there are several other collective terms for cats? There’s a kindle of kittens, a pounce of kittens, a clowder of cats. Veterinarian and author Grace Elliot blogged in 2014 that she preferred “an independence of cats,” adding that the Harley Manuscript, dating to the 15th century, refers to a “glorying” of cats.

-- The world’s cats are divided into groups from four distinct areas: Asia, the Mediterranean basin, Western Europe and East Africa. One is the adventurous Abyssinian cat, hailing from Indian Ocean coastal areas. It’s likely that this energetic and fun-loving cat came to Europe by ship in the 19th century.

-- No one knows exactly when cats first came to the New World, but it was surely by ship. Genetic evidence shows that American cats consistently group with cats from Western Europe, suggesting that North American cats descend from cats brought to the New World by European settlers. They may have arrived with Viking explorers; sailed the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria with Columbus; or accompanied Spanish colonizers. We know that at least one cat was on the Mayflower with the pilgrims, because although nameless, she is mentioned in ship records. The first known written mention of cats in New England dates to 1634.

-- The largest number of kittens ever born to a domestic cat was 19. According to Guinness World Records, a Burmese-Siamese cat in the United Kingdom delivered 19 kittens on Aug. 7, 1970. Four were stillborn, but the remaining 15 must have been more than a handful for mama cat and her people.

-- Bengal cats originated as a cross between Asian leopard cats -- small wildcats weighing 5 to 12 pounds -- and domestic cats, but today’s Bengals are domestic all the way, with no wild blood.

-- We’ll leave you with a feline fashion factoid: A cat whose coat is any color or pattern combined with any amount of white -- as little as a single spot -- is said to be bicolor (sometimes referred to as piebald), and the variations are numerous. Cats who are mostly white with random splashes of color are described as magpie. Van cats have splashes of color between the ears and color on the tail. Mask and mantle? That’s not a cat in costume but one with color on top of the head and on the upper half of the body with white below. And of course there is the classic tuxedo cat, with white belly and paws.

Q&A

Human pain

meds for pets?

Q: My pet is a little achy from arthritis. Is it OK to give her aspirin?

A: Back in the day, veterinarians might sometimes recommend giving an arthritic pet a small dose of aspirin. But that was a long time ago, and now we have a number of pain medications, nutraceuticals and other ways of managing pain that are much better suited to the needs of our dogs and cats.

But why can’t you just give aspirin if that’s what you have on hand? For the skinny, I asked my colleague, pet pain expert Michael Petty, DVM.

While aspirin might seem to help with pet pain, it can cause problems in both dogs and cats and should not be given. One of those problems is stomach ulcers.

“Stomach ulcers are the largest concern we have, and should your pet get an ulcer, it may cost thousands of dollars to treat this life-threatening concern,” Dr. Petty says. “One dog study using an endoscope to look at the stomach lining after aspirin administration showed that there was inflammation present just one hour after a single dose of aspirin. Another study showed that aspirin given to dogs actually hastened the degradation of cartilage.” In other words, it may have helped with the pain initially, but in the long run, it made the pain worse.

Instead of giving aspirin, talk to your veterinarian about the best ways to manage your pet’s pain. Losing weight can be a start. Just relieving the pressure on those joints can do a lot for a pet’s well-being.

Dogs and cats can benefit from injections of a joint supplement called Adequan. Acupuncture, cold laser, hydrotherapy and massage are other options. And there are pet-specific non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medications your veterinarian can prescribe to help relieve arthritis pain.-- Dr. Marty Becker

Do you have a pet question? Send it to askpetconnection@gmail.com or visit Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker.

THE BUZZ

Dogs aid at-risk

black-footed ferrets

-- Camas, Finny, Jax, Lily, Rio, Tule and Utah are working dogs in South Dakota, Wyoming and Arizona. Their job? They are conservation detection dogs trained by Working Dogs for Conservation to seek out highly endangered black-footed ferrets. The solitary and nocturnal predators are difficult to find since they spend much of their time underground, either sleeping or hunting prey. Along with camera traps, radio collars and spotlighting, the dogs are an important part of tracking, monitoring and counting the elusive members of the weasel family so they can be better understood and managed.

-- Want a reptile but don’t love the idea of feeding insects or pinky mice? A blue-tongued skink might be the lizard of your dreams. The omnivores thrive on a combination of veggies and greens, protein, and fruit. A good ratio for each meal is 50% veggies/greens, 40% protein and 10% fruit. Types of protein you can feed include high-quality dry or canned dog food, hard-boiled eggs, boiled chicken and lean cooked ground turkey or beef. Fruits and veggies you can feed include collard and turnip greens, squash, peas, carrots, mango, strawberries and cantaloupe. Vary what you feed, and give a vitamin/calcium supplement to ensure a balanced, well-rounded diet.

-- Old pets or those with health problems are among the most vulnerable in shelters, but so-called “fospice” -- a mashup of foster and hospice -- programs help them make a soft landing in a home for what may be the last few weeks, months or sometimes years of their lives. At Kentucky Humane Society, a fospice program has given 13 animals with terminal illnesses or limited life expectancies a new family life for as long as they need it. Similar programs are available in New York City; San Francisco; Oak Ridge, New Jersey; and Austin, Texas. -- Dr. Marty Becker, Kim Campbell Thornton and Mikkel Becker

ABOUT PET CONNECTION

Pet Connection is produced by a team of pet care experts headed by “The Dr. Oz Show” veterinarian Dr. Marty Becker, founder of the Fear Free organization and author of many best-selling pet care books, and award-winning journalist Kim Campbell Thornton. Joining them is behavior consultant and lead animal trainer for Fear Free Pets Mikkel Becker. Dr. Becker can be found at Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker or on Twitter at DrMartyBecker. Kim Campbell Thornton is at Facebook.com/KimCampbellThornton and on Twitter at kkcthornton. Mikkel Becker is at Facebook.com/MikkelBecker and on Twitter at MikkelBecker.

Dogs mature at different rates. Large and giant breeds may need to wait longer for spay or neuter surgery to reduce health risks

By Kim Campbell Thornton

Andrews McMeel Syndication

Clover, a border collie pup adopted from a rescue group when she was 15 weeks old, was having recurring urinary tract infections. The adoption contract called for her to be spayed by the time she was a year old, but owner Roxanne Hawn pushed for an extension to allow Clover to have one heat cycle, as recommended by the specialist who was treating her for the UTIs. Hawn had her spayed when she was 17 months old.

“Letting everything mature fixed the issue,” Hawn says. “Zero bladder issues since. Plus, I feel like letting her fully mature before surgery was the right thing for her long-term health.”

When should you spay or neuter your dog? After decades of owners hearing that dogs should be surgically altered when they are 6 or 7 months old -- or even earlier if they are shelter pups -- new science may be turning that recommendation on its head.

The advice to spay or neuter pets at 6 months or earlier stemmed from studies in the 1960s and 1970s showing that estrogen was linked to mammary cancer -- common in dogs -- and that spayed and neutered dogs showed fewer problem behaviors such as roaming. But more recent research suggests that the question of when to spay or neuter a pet is complicated, with no one-size-fits-all answer.

A constellation of studies looking at the effects of spay or neuter surgery on health and behavior have reported some startling findings: One is that some large and giant breeds are more likely to experience orthopedic problems if they are altered before puberty.

Researchers Benjamin L. Hart, DVM, and Lynette Hart, Ph.D., at the School of Veterinary Medicine, University of California, Davis, found in two published studies a fourfold increase in one or more joint disorders in golden retrievers altered at 6 months of age. A second study by the Morris Animal Foundation confirmed those figures in the popular breed, using a different database and study design.

It’s not just goldens. Akitas, German shepherds, Labrador retrievers, Newfoundlands, poodles and Saint Bernards are other breeds at higher risk for cranial cruciate ligament ruptures when altered early.

Early surgical alteration has physiological effects. Because it’s done before closure of growth plates, the timing of which is affected by the presence of sex hormones, dogs grow taller than normal, changing the proportions and lengths of some bones relative to others, and potentially causing increased stress on hips, elbows or cranial cruciate ligaments. In females, early spay surgery can contribute to urinary incontinence and recurring urinary tract infections.

On the plus side, neutering tends to decrease unwanted behaviors such as roaming, but sports medicine veterinarian Christine Zink of Ellicott City, Maryland, notes that nonsurgical options are available to prevent that. “You can build a fence, you can walk your dog on a leash,” she says. “It doesn’t require removing a really important organ for the dog’s endocrine system.”

Does that mean you shouldn’t spay or neuter your dog?

Humane societies believe early spay/neuter risks are outweighed by the reduction in shelter population. And researchers such as the Harts aren’t advocating against the surgery.

“We’re not saying, ‘Don’t spay or neuter your dog,’” says Dr. Benjamin Hart. “We’re saying for some breeds, such as the retrievers, wait until they are a year or a year and a half old.”

Talk to your veterinarian. The decision on spay/neuter timing should be a joint one based on your pup’s risk according to published data.

“Personalized veterinary medicine is the wave of the future from many different standpoints,” says Dr. Lynette Hart. “It’s not only with regard to spay/neuter, but in all aspects of veterinary medicine.”

Q&A

Should I

bathe cat?

Q: I just got a kitten, and she’s allowed on my furniture and bed. She stays indoors, but should I be bathing her regularly to help keep down fur and dander?

A: It depends on who you ask. Many veterinarians, including veterinary dermatologist Amelia White at Auburn University College of Veterinary Medicine in Alabama, believe that cats do a fine job of grooming themselves. “As long as your cat is grooming a normal amount, and the haircoat is staying clean and not getting matted, and there’s no fecal material or urine in it, then the cat should not need to be bathed,” she says. Exceptions are hairless cats such as Sphynx, who require regular baths to remove excess oil from their skin, she adds.

I do think that it’s a good idea for cats to be familiar with being bathed, because at some point in their nine lives, they may need regular baths.

For instance, cats with skin conditions may require medicated baths. A bath is also important if a cat has been exposed to a toxic substance. Often, a bath is the most effective way to remove harmful chemicals from the coat. And cats who go outdoors may get into sticky stuff, such as chewing gum, tree sap or tar.

Senior cats may have put on some pounds over the years or developed arthritis, both of which can make it difficult for them to groom themselves thoroughly.

“If cats are not grooming themselves, that could indicate that they’re not feeling well, and they should be examined by a veterinarian,” Dr. White says.

I always recommend that people with new kittens accustom them to baths from the beginning. If you get them used to it at an early age, you’ll have a sweeter-smelling cat and a cleaner home. -- Dr. Marty Becker

Do you have a pet question? Send it to askpetconnection@gmail.com or visit Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker.

THE BUZZ

Cat with frostbite

has new paws

-- A cat in Siberia who lost all four paws to frostbite is now pussyfooting around on titanium prosthetic paws. Ryzhik, who suffered his injuries in January when temperatures dropped to 40 below zero, had to have his paws amputated because the damage was too severe to treat. Earlier this year, at a prosthetic clinic in Novosibirsk, surgeons used computer tomography and 3D modeling to design artificial limbs for the cat and attached them to his bones in a way that permitted tissue growth. He can now walk again and doesn’t seem to mind his paw-cessories.

-- A large study in the United Kingdom has found associations between the risk of urinary incontinence -- involuntary leakage of urine -- in female dogs and the breed and the age at which they were spayed. The study, published earlier this month in the Journal of Small Animal Practice, looked at females born between Jan. 1, 2010, and Dec. 31, 2012, and followed them until March 31, 2018. The rate of urinary incontinence was highest among dogs spayed before they were 6 months old as well as in certain breeds, including Irish setters, Dalmatians, vizslas, Doberman pinschers and Weimaraners. Approximately 3% of female dogs in the United Kingdom experience urinary incontinence.

-- Is your cat or dog underweight, under the weather or simply uninterested in his food? Many illnesses can cause pets to lose their appetite. Other times, their sense of smell has decreased with age, resulting in less interest in food. To encourage your pet to eat, warm the food slightly to make it more aromatic. If he can smell it, he’s more likely to eat it. Feeding him by hand or petting him can also increase his interest in food. The extra attention from you may be the incentive he needs to chow down. -- Dr. Marty Becker, Kim Campbell Thornton and Mikkel Becker

ABOUT PET CONNECTION

Pet Connection is produced by a team of pet care experts headed by “The Dr. Oz Show” veterinarian Dr. Marty Becker, founder of the Fear Free organization and author of many best-selling pet care books, and award-winning journalist Kim Campbell Thornton. Joining them is behavior consultant and lead animal trainer for Fear Free Pets Mikkel Becker. Dr. Becker can be found at Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker or on Twitter at DrMartyBecker. Kim Campbell Thornton is at Facebook.com/KimCampbellThornton and on Twitter at kkcthornton. Mikkel Becker is at Facebook.com/MikkelBecker and on Twitter at MikkelBecker.