CHOOSING TO END AN ANIMAL'S SUFFERING IS A FINAL ACT OF LOVE

It's the question every pet lover dreads, the one for which there's often no easy answer: "When is the right time to say goodbye?"

Choosing to end a pet's life is the hardest decision we make when it comes to our pets, and we can tell you from decades of experience that it's a decision that never gets any easier. Your veterinarian will offer you advice and support, and friends and family can offer you sympathy, but no one can make the decision for you. When you live with an elderly or terminally ill pet, you look in your pet's eyes every morning and wonder if you're doing what's best.

Everyone makes the decision a little differently. Some pet lovers do not wait until their pet's discomfort becomes chronic, untreatable pain, and they choose euthanasia much sooner than others would. Some owners use an animal's appetite as the guide -- when an old or ill animal cannot be tempted into eating, they reason, he has lost most interest in life. And some owners wait until there's no doubt the time is at hand -- and later wonder if they delayed a bit too long.

There's no absolute rule, and every method for deciding is right for some pets and some owners at some times. You do the best you can, and then you try to put the decision behind you and deal with the grief.

The incredible advances in veterinary medicine in the past couple of decades have made the decisions even more difficult for many people. Not too long ago, the best you could do for a seriously ill pet was to make her comfortable until that wasn't possible anymore. Nowadays, nearly every advantage of human medicine -- from chemotherapy to pacemakers to advanced pain relief -- is available to our pets.

But the addition of high-level care shouldn't change much when it comes to easing suffering: If you can have a realistic expectation that a course of treatment will improve your pet's life -- rather than simply prolong it -- then those options should be considered. But you must also ask yourself: Am I doing right by my pet, or am I just holding on because I can't bear to say goodbye?

If it's the latter, you know what decision you have to make.

Many people are surprised at the powerful emotions that erupt after a pet's death, and they can be embarrassed by their grief. Often, we don't realize we're grieving not only for the pet we loved, but also for the special time the animal represented and the ties to other people in our lives. The death of a cat who was a gift as a kitten from a friend who has died, for example, may trigger bittersweet memories of the other love lost.

Taking care of yourself is important when dealing with pet loss. Some people -- the "It's just a pet" crowd -- won't understand the loss and may shrug off grief over a pet's death as foolish. I find that the company of other animal lovers is very important. Seek them out to share your feelings, and don't be shy about getting professional help to get you through a difficult time.

Choosing to end a pet's suffering is a final act of love and nothing less. Knowing that your decisions are guided by that love is what helps us all through the sad and lonely time of losing a cherished animal companion.

SIDEBAR

Finding help when you need it

You're not alone in losing a pet, and many resources are out there to help you cope with your emotions during a difficult time. Some veterinary schools offer pet-loss support lines staffed by volunteer veterinary students, and the website PetHobbyist.com offers a pet-loss chat every night of the year, which is staffed with volunteer moderators and attended by other pet lovers.

Q&A

Halter problems?

Try a harness

Q: I've heard that head halters can cause serious injuries if used incorrectly. A too-abrupt tug could jerk a dog's head, causing neck or spinal injuries, couldn't it? -- S.T., via email

A: Anything's possible, which is why I don't recommend using a head halter with one of those long, reel-type leashes. The force of a running dog hitting the end of a 30-foot line does have the potential to cause injury. And if you want an eye-opener, do an Internet search for "retractable leash injuries" for some cautions on their use. People and pets have been seriously injured with retractable leashes, which is why I don't recommend them at all.

But in truth, just about every piece of canine equipment has the potential for problems if used incorrectly. Slip-chain collars can choke a dog or injure his neck. Breakaway collars, designed to release a dog who's caught on something, can result in a dog being off-leash when it's least safe, such as next to a busy street. Head halters can jerk a dog's head around, and people have lost fingers to retractable leashes.

One of the more benign pieces of dog gear is the front-clip harness. There are a few different ones on the market now, and they all work on the same theory: When the leash is clipped to the front of the harness (as opposed to the top center of the back), a dog's own forward momentum is used to keep him from pulling. Watch for fit and wear: An improperly fitted harness can rub a dog raw.

It's important to remember that a front-clip harness does not teach your dog to keep the leash slack. If you switch back to a collar, your dog will pull again. The best long-term strategy is to get a trainer's help to instill good leash manners for life. -- Gina Spadafori

Do you have a pet question? Send it to petconnection@gmail.com or visit Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker.

THE BUZZ

No concerns over

pet microchip ID

-- Veterinary experts say there is no evidence that cancer is a problem in microchipped pets. More than 14 million-plus microchips have been implanted with only four cases in question. That's a fraction of the number of pets who have been returned to their owners because of an identifying microchip.

-- Mister Ed, the talking horse of the 1960s television show, is buried under a wild cherry tree near Tulsa, Okla. The palomino lived to the ripe old age of 33.

-- Aging cats can develop a feline form of Alzheimer's disease. Some 28 percent of pet cats aged 11 to 14 years develop at least one age-related behavior problem, and this increases to more than 50 percent for cats over the age of 15. Experts suggest that a good diet, mental stimulation and companionship can reduce the risk of dementia in both humans and cats. -- Dr. Marty Becker and Gina Spadafori

ABOUT PET CONNECTION

Pet Connection is produced by a team of pet care experts headed by "Good Morning America" and "The Dr. Oz Show" veterinarian Dr. Marty Becker and award-winning journalist Gina Spadafori. The two are affiliated with Vetstreet.com and also the authors of many best-selling pet care books. Dr. Becker can also be found at Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker or on Twitter at DrMartyBecker.

PREPARE NOW FOR THE MOST DANGEROUS HOLIDAY FOR COMPANION ANIMALS

I love the Fourth of July. I love the picnics and parades, and especially the fireworks. But I love my pets, too, so I usually stay home.

My cats live indoors, so I don't worry about them running off in fear, and my backyard is double-fenced, so I don't worry about my dogs bolting when let outside, either. But I know I would spend the evening worrying if I left them alone, and with good reason: Pet-advocacy groups warn that more pets are lost or killed, injured or panicked on this day than on any other.

Even if your pet is not the nervous type, it is a good idea to think twice before heading out the evening of July 4, or at least to take some precautions. Here are some tips:

-- Line up some chemical calm. If you know your pet looks for a place to hide and shiver at the neighborhood's first noise, call your veterinarian in advance to get a medication to keep him calm. While you are at it, ask if your vet is available for after-hours emergencies, and if not, get the location and phone number of the nearest emergency clinic. You never know if you will need it. One usually calm dog I know jumped through a sliding-glass door after firecrackers went off in the yard behind him. Fortunately, his owners knew where to take him, and he got the prompt care he needed to save his life.

-- Set up a safe room. For truly terrified pets, it's not a bad idea to secure them in a quiet room, or a crate if they're used to one. Synthetic pheromone sprays -- Feliway for cats, Adaptil for dogs, both available at pet stores -- mimic the natural substances that calm anxious pets, and help many pets over the rough spots. Clothing that "hugs" your pet, such as Thundershirts, has also been shown to help. And many people have used the homeopathic Rescue Remedy on their pets; a few drops in drinking water may help.

-- Keep your pets secure. Make sure all your pets are safely confined and provided with plenty of fresh, cool water (nervous animals drink lots of water). Bring outside pets inside, at least into the garage. Allow your cat no access to the outside, and be sure keep your dog on leash outside, even in your own yard if you're not sure about your fencing. Frightened dogs have been known to go over -- or even through -- fences that would normally hold them. And cats are often the targets of cruel pranksters, some of whom enjoy terrorizing animals with fireworks.

-- Prepare for the worst. Make sure your pet is wearing a collar with ID tags. When animal-control agencies are closed, there's no way for your pet to be traced to you unless you have made sure your phone number is also on that collar. And if you don't have time to get your pet microchipped, get it done before next year's fireworks.

-- Know what to do if you lose your pet. Start looking as soon as you discover your pet is missing. Cover your neighborhood with fliers and check with veterinarians, emergency clinics and shelters. When dealing with shelters, remember that a phone call is not enough. Shelter staff cannot remember every animal in the place, and may not be able to recognize your pet from your description even if they have seen it. It is important to check in person at least every other day.

With so much to worry about, I feel a lot better staying home. Besides, I live close enough to my city's fireworks show that I can get a pretty good view without leaving my pets alone.

Q&A

GROOMING CAN HELP

KEEP PETS HEALTHY

Q: I'm a professional groomer, and I get physically sick to my stomach at how bad some dogs are when they come in. Can you tell people to pick up a brush and comb now and then? -- via Facebook

A: Beauty is more than skin-deep when it comes to your dog. Keeping a pet well-groomed not only produces a clean-smelling companion, but it also helps to keep pets more comfortable and helps owners to spot health problems before they become serious, even life-threatening. I'm happy to spread the word.

Consider a simple mat, so easy to overlook. Have you ever had your hair in a ponytail that was just a little too tight? A mat can feel the same way to your dog -- a constant pull on the skin. Try to imagine those all over your body, and you have a good idea how uncomfortable an ungroomed coat can be.

Your dog need never know what a mat feels like if you keep him brushed and combed -- but that's just the start of the health benefits. Regular grooming allows you to look for lumps, bumps and injuries, while clearing such things as mats and ticks from his coat. Follow up with your veterinarian on any questionable masses you find, and you may detect cancer early enough to save your pet's life.

It's also good for pet owners, since clean pets trigger fewer allergies. Clean, soft fur also makes pets more ... well, pet-able. And if you want a cleaner house, regular grooming will help with that, too. In my home, two of our dogs are furry hand-grenades, truly heavy shedders. We keep their long hair clipped short by our groomer, and that drops the shed rate remarkably.

While every dog needs brushing and combing -- you brush your hair between salon visits, don't you? -- regularly scheduled grooming appointments will help you keep on top of hair care, and will help with the nail trims so many owners hate even more than most dogs do. -- Dr. Marty Becker

Do you have a pet question? Send it to petconnection@gmail.com or visit Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker.

THE BUZZ

Avoiding a cat's gaze

attracts his attention

-- Why, in a room full of people, will a cat invariably make a beeline to the one person in the room who hates or is allergic to cats? Cats don't like eye contact from strangers -- they find it intimidating. When a friendly cat wanders into a room, he'll notice that all the people who like cats are looking at him. So he heads for the one who he thinks is being polite -- the person who isn't looking at him. The cat doesn't realize that the person isn't looking because he doesn't want the cat near him. It's just a little bit of cross-species miscommunication.

-- Natura Pet Products has again recalled products across much of its dry food brand line for salmonella concerns. The products include Innova Dry, EVO, California Natural, Healthwise, Karma and Mother Nature. Recall alerts are available on the U.S. Food and Drug Administration's website, which can be accessed at http://tinyurl.com/FDA-PFRecalls.

-- Keeping on top of ticks is more important than ever with the emergence and spread of Lyme disease. The Companion Animal Parasite Council reports that the disease continues to spread beyond its well-established base in the Northeast and eastern Midwest Unites States and is now found in Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, West Virginia, Virginia and North Carolina. Lyme is one of a handful of tick-borne diseases that affect people and pets alike. Talk to your veterinarian about effective parasite control for your pet. A map of Lyme disease in the U.S. can be found at the association's website, petsandparasites.org. -- Dr. Marty Becker and Gina Spadafori

ABOUT PET CONNECTION

Pet Connection is produced by a team of pet care experts headed by "Good Morning America" and "The Dr. Oz Show" veterinarian Dr. Marty Becker and award-winning journalist Gina Spadafori. The two are affiliated with Vetstreet.com and also the authors of many best-selling pet care books. Dr. Becker can also be found at Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker or on Twitter at DrMartyBecker.

INCLUDE YOUR PETS IN YOUR FAMILY'S PREPAREDNESS PLANS

Tornadoes, hurricanes, fires, floods and earthquakes -- there are few places on Earth that are not vulnerable to one or more natural disasters.

We've learned from countless disasters that people often will put their own lives at risk -- and the lives of first responders as well -- if there are no options for relocating with their animal companions. Public planning now includes pets, and your own planning should, too. Here are the basics you need to know:

-- Have a plan. Prepare for all possibilities, and make sure everyone in your family knows what to do. Try to figure out now what's most likely for you and your community, and how you will respond. Where will you go? What will you take? You need to get these answers in advance. Get to know your neighbors, and put a plan in place to help each other out. Find out from local shelters and veterinary organizations -- and your family's own veterinarian -- what emergency response plans are in place and how you fit into them in case of a disaster.

-- ID your pets. Many, if not most, animals will survive a disaster. But too many will never see their families again if there's no way to determine which pet belongs to which family. That's why pets should always wear a collar and identification tags with your cellphone number and the numbers of a couple of out-of-area contacts. Better still is the additional permanent identification that can't slip off, such as a tattoo or an embedded microchip.

-- Practice preventive care. Disease follows disaster, which is why keeping a pet as healthy as possible with up-to-date vaccinations is essential. Prepare a file with up-to-date medical records, your pets' microchip or tattoo numbers, your veterinarian's phone number and address, feeding and medication instructions, and recent pictures of your animals. Trade copies of emergency files with another pet-loving friend or family member. It's a good idea for someone else to know about your pet, should anything happen to you.

-- Have restraints ready. Even normally calm pets can freak out under the stress of an emergency, especially if injured. You should be prepared to restrain your pet -- for his safety and the safety of others.

Keep leashes, muzzles and carriers ready for emergencies. The means to transport your pet shouldn't be something you have to find and pull from the rafters of your garage. Harnesses work better than collars at keeping panicky pets safe. Shipping crates are probably the least-thought-of pieces of emergency equipment for pet owners, but are among the most important. Sturdy crates keep pets safe and give you more options for housing your pets if you have to leave your home.

-- Keep supplies on hand. Keep several days' worth of pet food and safe drinking water ready to go in the event of a disaster, as well as any necessary medicines. Canned food is better in an emergency, so lay in a couple of cases, and don't forget to pack a can opener with your emergency supplies. For cats, keep an extra bag of litter on hand. And pack lots of plastic bags for dealing with waste.

-- Learn first aid. Pet-supply stores sell ready-made first-aid kits, or you can put your own together fairly easily with the help of any pet-related first-aid book or website. Keep a first-aid book with your supplies. If you check around in your community, you should be able to find a pet first-aid class to take that will give you the basic knowledge you need.

-- Be prepared to help. You may be lucky enough to survive a disaster nearly untouched, but others in your community won't be so fortunate. Check out groups that train volunteers for disaster response, and consider going through the training. Disaster-relief workers do everything from distributing food to stranded animals to helping reunite pets with their families, and helping find new homes for those animals who need them. Volunteering in a pinch is not only a good thing to do, it's also the right thing for anyone who cares about animals and people.

Q&A

Quick action can

recover pet bird

Q: A couple years ago, our cockatiel flew out the front door, and we never were able to get her back. We saw her for a couple of weeks in the neighborhood and then she was gone. Can you suggest how we can protect against losing another? -- via Facebook

A: It can indeed be difficult to catch a bird on the wing, which is why the best strategies for preventing a pet bird from being lost forever are preventive. Have your bird microchipped. Keep his wings clipped to prevent him from flying away, and make sure everyone in the family knows to keep doors and unscreened windows closed.

Of course, hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it? But there are things you can do if your bird flies away:

-- Don't waste time. The longer your bird is out, the smaller the chance of recovery. Immediately start searching nearby. If you have some game you play that would elicit a response from your bird, start playing it. If your bird is used to responding to your whistle or call, you'll have an easier time locating him.

-- Lure your bird with his favorite treats. Even without wings, birds can climb far out of reach quickly. Gathering your bird's favorite treats may lure him back down. Put his familiar cage in an area that's easy for him to see and get to, and put treats inside with the door open. Because birds are more likely to eat at dawn and dusk, even a bird who's not immediately interested in treats may come into a familiar cage at feeding time.

-- Use the hose, cautiously. Because being sprayed by the hose is frightening and may injure the bird, don't go for this technique first. Some bird experts are dead-set against it, in fact. But a bird at large is in as much danger of dying as he is if he falls to the ground after being drenched. Using a hose is a judgment call, and you'll probably get only one chance, so play this card wisely.

Expand the search. If your immediate actions don't bring in your bird, don't give up. Put up fliers around the area and at the local bird shop, pet-supply stores, veterinarians' offices (especially avian veterinarians) and pet shelters. Post everywhere you can online as well.

Many birds are found days, weeks and months after they're lost, but they're found by people who don't know just who is looking for the pet. If you don't keep putting the word out, your bird may be lost for good, even if found. -- Gina Spadafori

Do you have a pet question? Send it to petconnection@gmail.com or visit Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker.

THE BUZZ

The eyes can be key

to decoding a parrot

-- Parrots have the ability to change the size of their pupils rapidly in a display known as "pinning" that offers vital clues to what they may do next.

People who aren't familiar with parrots are ill-prepared to avoid a nasty bite from these brilliant but sometimes mercurial beings. To key in on bird body language, watch the eyes. Parrots are able to control their irises, shrinking and enlarging their pupils rapidly in a display that's called "flashing" or "pinning."

Parrots flash their eyes when they're excited or when they're angry. Flashing accompanied by aggressive posturing, such as tail-fanning, signifies a bird who's bound to bite if not left alone. Even people who are familiar with parrots sometimes misread body language. Since the beaks of these birds are well-designed to cause damage, consider a parrot as one pet best admired from arm's length or better.

-- A researcher who has decoded the language of prairie dogs says the ability to understand dogs and cats is less than a decade away. Animal behaviorist Con Slobodchikoff, a professor emeritus at Northern Arizona University, told The Atlantic that his 30 years of work can extend to understanding other animals as well. -- Dr. Marty Becker and Gina Spadafori

ABOUT PET CONNECTION

Pet Connection is produced by a team of pet care experts headed by "Good Morning America" and "The Dr. Oz Show" veterinarian Dr. Marty Becker and award-winning journalist Gina Spadafori. The two are affiliated with Vetstreet.com and also the authors of many best-selling pet care books. Dr. Becker can also be found at Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker or on Twitter at DrMartyBecker.