From the goldfish won at a school carnival who didn't make it home alive to the hamster who escaped from his cage and was never seen again to the cat or dog who has been in the family for years and is now taking a final trip to the veterinarian's, the death of a pet can be a wrenching experience for a child.

Though the death of a pet can be a sad and perhaps scary experience for a child, it is also a chance for parents to set a model for grief and death. For most children, this will be the first time they deal with death, and it's an opportunity to teach them how to deal with painful experiences.

Experts advise using activities to help children recognize and work through their emotions, such as having a child draw or paste a picture of the pet, or finish this sentence: "Thinking about (my pet's name) dying makes me feel ..." Such exercises allow parents, grandparents, teachers and other important adults in the lives of children to open avenues for discussion, as well as to help set the tone for appropriate ways of grieving.

Perhaps a little disconcerting to many parents, some experts even ask children to consider what's happened to their pet's body. Such openness is important with children, even though it may run counter to parents' own experience as a child. If you don't give children the answers to their questions, the answers they make up may be even worse than the truth. It's most important to be truthful and factual. Let the child know that it's OK to talk about anything, and it's OK to have the feelings they do.

Some other suggestions for parents:

-- Don't sugarcoat the facts. Parents need to remember not to use euphemisms. Telling a child a pet was "put to sleep" may leave the child afraid to fall asleep himself.

-- Follow the child's lead. Children may even benefit from seeing the body of the departed pet. Ask the child, and prepare by explaining the pet won't meow or won't lick.

-- Use more than words. Children are not as focused on words as we are. They may want to play the death scene over and over, which may be disturbing to adults, but it's their way of working through it. Children also can express their feelings through painting and drawing, and cutting and pasting.

-- Share you own grief, but don't burden your child. It's very important for a child to see your feelings and to know sadness is acceptable, but it's too much to ask your child to be your support at such times. Turn to other adults for this need.

-- Don't rush your child. Grief can be a long process.

While it isn't going to be easy, when handled well, the death of a pet can leave children well-prepared for the losses we all face in our lives.

A pet's death, in other words, can be a final gift of love and learning to a child.

Q&A

Antibiotics need

to be prescribed

Q: I asked my veterinarian to give me a prescription for antibiotics to keep on hand. My thinking is that it will save me a trip in the future, and time and money. Although she has often given me prescriptions to fill when it's cheaper to stock up, she said she couldn't give me antibiotics to use without a veterinary visit. Why won't she? -- via email

A: Antibiotics are everywhere and can be purchased with very little trouble, either at some pet stores (where they're labeled for fish) or through Internet sources. Is it a good idea to keep some on hand in case your pet gets sick? In a word, "no."

Antibiotics are one of the outstanding contributions of modern medicine and have saved countless lives of both the human and animal variety. But we have become so comfortable with these medicines and their frequent usage that we sometimes forget they are powerful drugs that should be used with care.

And yet, some pet lovers respond to any sign of illness by dosing -- and often overdosing -- their animals with antibiotics. But this course of action is a bad idea for several reasons.

First, not all antibiotics are the same. They each have their target bacteria, and they may little affect any bacteria they're not designed to combat, as well as bacteria that are resistant to them. And if your pet has a viral or fungal infection, an antibiotic will not help and may make matters worse.

Second, the regular use of antibiotics may hurt your pet's immune system and could lead to the development of antibiotic-resistant strains of bacteria that will be hard to stamp out even with the "right" medication.

And finally, the improper use or overuse of antibiotics presents an environmental hazard, potentially contaminating wastewater systems and polluting animal habitats.

When your pet is sick, your time and money would be better spent getting an accurate diagnosis and targeted treatment from an experienced veterinarian. And that's why you need to see your veterinarian before putting your pet on any antibiotic. -- Dr. Marty Becker

(Do you have a pet question? Send it to petconnection@gmail.com.)

THE BUZZ

Furry companions

encourage reading

-- Dogs can help children learn to read better. A study by the Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts University found that over the course of a summer, children who read aloud to dogs slightly improved their ability to read. The practice also helped improve their positive attitude toward reading. On the other hand, the study showed students paired with adults for the reading sessions actually had a decline in both areas. One-third of children who were asked to read to other people dropped out of the study, while none of the students paired with dogs quit.

-- Cats in the wild need to hunt and eat up to 20 small animals each day in order to survive, according to the Indoor Pet Initiative at The Ohio State's College of Veterinary Medicine. This means cats sleep in between hunting sessions so they can build up enough strength to pounce quickly and effectively. Kittens begin to hunt alone at about 8 to 16 weeks of age.

-- Studies in the United States and Canada have shown that 40 to 50 percent of pig ears sold as dog treats are contaminated with salmonella. Handling these and other contaminated food products puts human health at risk. If your dog enjoys pig ears, individually wrapped ears are less likely to be contaminated than those stored in bulk bins, according to a report in The New York Times. And always wash hands after handling them. -- Dr. Marty Becker and Mikkel Becker

ABOUT PET CONNECTION

Pet Connection is produced by a team of pet-care experts headed by "Good Morning America" and "The Dr. Oz Show" veterinarian Dr. Marty Becker and award-winning journalist Gina Spadafori. The two are affiliated with Vetsteet.com and also the authors of many best-selling pet-care books. Dr. Becker can also be found at Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker or on Twitter at DrMartyBecker.

When I look around the waiting room at one of the two Idaho veterinary hospitals where I practice, I too often see something that concerns me.

Where are the cats?

Cats have long been the most popular of pets. At the nation's veterinary hospitals, though, dogs take most of the appointment slots and get most of the wellness care. The biggest reason cats are shortchanged when it comes to their health is that people don't like catching them, putting them in carriers and dealing with the difficult behavior of fearful cats. So what can be done?

The lack of preventive care for cats means making these pets happier has become a high priority for many veterinarians. Veterinary behaviorists have been helping veterinarians design facilities and protocols to make cat visits less stressful for all, including dogs, pet owners and hospital staff. You'll see a lot of changes in the years to come, as veterinary clinics and hospitals begin to handle feline patients with greater knowledge of feline behavior.

The use of pheromones is one such change. When I'm practicing, I wear so much of the synthetic cat pheromone called Feliway (a version of feline facial pheromones, which relax cats) that it's more like aftershave to me.

As veterinarians work to make their practices fear-free and feline-friendly, there's a lot you can do to help your cat relax when it's time to see the doctor. The American Academy of Feline Practitioners offers new guidelines at CatVets.com. Here are the main points:

-- Get your cat used to being handled. Be patient and build up your cat's tolerance for handling. Make sessions short and reward your cat with treats or the kind of petting she enjoys, such as under the chin.

-- Choose a cat-friendly carrier. Find a carrier that opens from the front (BEGIN ITAL)and(END ITAL) top or that opens from the front and unclips easily to allow the entire top to come off so the cat can remain on her bedding in the bottom part.

-- Make your cat's carrier part of the furniture. If the only time your cat sees a carrier is when he's headed to the vet, he can't relax inside. Leave the carrier out and place soft bedding inside. If your cat likes treats, give them to him inside the carrier. Spray Feliway liberally in the carrier. It's "Kumbaya" in a can.

-- Locate your cat the day before a veterinary visit and don't let him outside to disappear. Let the vet's office know in advance that your cat is uncomfortable with veterinary visits so they can prepare.

-- If your cat has freaked out at the veterinary office before, ask your veterinarian for medication to calm your cat's anxiety. If your cat becomes car sick, discuss a medication for that as well.

-- Make sure the carrier is belted safely into your car to minimize movement, and put a towel over the carrier to block the view.

-- Try to remain calm and positive. Your anxiety will make your cat's worse.

If you have more than one cat, prevent post-visit aggression by leaving the cat who's been to the veterinarian in his carrier when you get home. Watch for problems. If all seems well, open the door to the carrier, but don't force your cat out and don't force the cats to interact. Let time -- and more Feliway -- ease the stress of reintroduction.

Q&A

Lab's worn-out tail

will soon wag again

Q: Our Labrador suddenly stopped being able to wag his tail after we spent a day on the lake. The problem is "dead tail," according to our veterinarian, who said it would heal on its own. But what caused it? Will it happen again? -- via email

A: Good news first: Your veterinarian's right in that the problem will resolve on its own in a couple of days. Because the condition can be painful, your veterinarian may prescribe a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medication (NSAID) for a day or two to make your dog more comfortable in the meantime.

"Dead tail" (also called "cold tail" and "limber tail") is sort of a canine version of "weekend warrior syndrome," a muscle problem that happens when a body is pushed to peak performance without building up strength and stamina first. Typically, "dead tail" is seen in hunting dogs near the beginning of the season after a long day's work. Swimming in cold water under such circumstances also seems to be a trigger.

What causes "dead tail" is muscle exhaustion. The muscles of the tail are used for more than wagging. The tail is also used for balance and, in the water, for steering. "Dead tail" is a pretty accurate description: The tail just hangs down, and the dog can't even wag it.

Treatment is pain medication and rest. Prevention involves taking your dog on a series of shorter outings that demand peak performance before attempting a full day of hard work or play. Veterinarians also suggest stretch breaks for dogs confined for long periods during a day's outing (such as in a crate, waiting the turn to compete), and ending the good times before the dog is exhausted, especially when cold water swimming is involved. -- Dr. Marty Becker

(Do you have a pet question? Send it to petconnection@gmail.com.)

THE BUZZ

Dog's leg action

on a hair trigger

-- Every healthy dog has a reflex reaction to any passing skin irritation, whether it's an insect crawling among his hairs or a fingernail giving a scratch. If nerve endings detect something that's annoying the skin, the dog's leg will automatically come up to scratch off the pest -- even if there's no pest there. The response is most pronounced if you scratch a dog on the rump near the base of the tail, along the upper part of the flanks or on the belly -- not coincidentally, places where fleas like to congregate. The "scratch reflex" is so predictable that veterinarians will use it to help with their neurological exam when spinal damage is suspected.

-- Want to avoid a tussle when it comes to trimming the claws on your cat? Don't trim them until you can massage your cat's paws gently during lap time. As you massage a paw with one hand, offer an irresistible treat in the other. Make the procedure as pleasant as possible -- for both of you. Trim only one nail each day and take off only the tip. 

-- Cats can get heartworm disease as well as dogs. If these microscopic larvae -- transmitted by mosquitoes -- settle in a cat's lungs, they can cause big health problems. Found in all 50 states, feline heartworm disease is incurable but 100 percent preventable with medications from your veterinarian. Think your indoor-only cat is safe? Think again! A North Carolina study reported that 28 percent of cats diagnosed with heartworm disease were indoor-only cats. -- Dr. Marty Becker and Mikkel Becker

ABOUT PET CONNECTION

Pet Connection is produced by a team of pet-care experts headed by "Good Morning America" and "The Dr. Oz Show" veterinarian Dr. Marty Becker and award-winning journalist Gina Spadafori. The two are affiliated with Vetsteet.om and also the authors of many best-selling pet-care books. Dr. Becker can also be found at Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker or on Twitter at DrMartyBecker.

And Gina Spadafori

The best way to save your pet from an accidental poisoning is to know which items are poisonous and to keep those out of your pet's reach.

What do you need to know? We touched base with Dr. Steven Hansen of the ASPCA's Animal Poison Control Center to find out.

Some poisonings are a result of something an animal gets into, like a household product. But a surprising number of cases come from something intentionally given to an animal by an owner who's trying to help. The classic example of the latter is when an elderly cat is given an extra-strength acetaminophen for arthritis. The owner is trying to help, but unfortunately, even one capsule of this common human medicine can kill a cat.

Dogs can figure out their way into trouble that their owners never envisioned. This includes opening cabinets to get cleaning products and counter-surfing to reach food items and pill vials. You need to realize that pets are basically like toddlers who can open any child-proof container, and you should take similar precautions:

-- Keep products such as medications, harmful foods and cleaning products in a secure cabinet above countertop height.

-- Use a kitchen garbage can with a lid. 

-- Always read labels, especially on flea and tick products, and on lawn and garden products. Store out of reach in a high cupboard, not under the sink.

-- Be familiar with the plants in and around your home, and have only nontoxic plants. 

-- Never give any medication or supplement to your pet unless recommended or approved by your veterinarian.

Many toxic substances aren't well-known to dog owners. For example, don't let your dog have significant amounts of raisins or grapes, macadamia nuts, moldy cheese, chocolate, onions, garlic or anything made with xylitol, which is a deadly ingredient for pets. If xylitol is in something in your home, your dog needs to be protected from it.

Once the preventive measures are in place, you need to know the signs of poisoning. Many (but not all) substances first cause stomach upset, including vomiting and diarrhea. It's not fun, but vomit must be examined for evidence of chewed packaging, plants, food, pills or other important clues.

Many poisonings progress to weakness and depression or nervous stimulation, including tremors and seizures. Pets may stop eating and drinking, or may drink excessive amounts, which could suggest liver or kidney involvement. Rapid or slow breathing, with changes in tongue and gum color -- from pink to white, blue or brown -- is important.

If you suspect poisoning, stay calm. Panicking will not help your pet and may waste precious time. If your pet is not showing any serious signs of illness described above, contact your regular veterinarian or the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center (888-426-4435) to determine if your pet needs to be seen, or if treatment needs to be given at home before you head to the veterinarian.

If your pet is having difficulty breathing, is having seizures, is bleeding or is unconscious, go to your regular veterinarian or an emergency clinic immediately. Take any evidence including chewed containers and labels and even vomit. This information is key to helping your veterinarian save your pet.

Be sure to always have the numbers of your pet's regular veterinarian, your local veterinary emergency clinic and the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center. It could save your pet's life.

Q&A

Do compact fluorescent bulbs

cause feather-picking?

Q: I read on the Internet that the compact fluorescent light bulbs they're pushing so hard are one of the reasons for feather-picking in parrots. Can you comment? -- via email

A: I asked board-certified avian specialist Dr. Brian Speer (my "Birds for Dummies" co-author) for help with this one. He says bird owners can probably keep using these bulbs if they choose to.

"Although there is a different flicker frequency that birds see as compared to ourselves, there is no confirmed direct causation between feather-damaging behavior and fluorescent lighting," says Speer, who owns the Medical Center for Birds, a birds-only practice in the Northern California town of Oakley.

He doesn't rule out CFLs completely, however, at least as a contributory factor to the problem. Feather-picking is a complex behavior, he stresses.

"This type of light may function as a stressor, and it is possible that some stressors may trigger anxiety," says Speer. "Anxiety may be addressed by displacement behavioral activities, and of these, feather damage could be seen.

"But this is a bit of a simplistic 'cause and effect' assumption for a problem that more often than not is multifactorial in nature," he says.

Stopping feather-picking, in other words, will remain a difficult road for many bird owners, with a lot of strategies employed along the way to find the magic ingredients to the cure -- if it can be found at all.

Best bet for a fix to feather-picking? Work with an avian veterinarian to figure out the cause or causes, which can vary from bird to bird. -- Gina Spadafori

(Do you have a pet question? Send it to petconnection@gmail.com.)

THE BUZZ

Touchy cats can be

trained to chill

-- Every cat lover has had the experience of a cat who, while being petted, bites or scratches "without warning." In fact, there is almost always some warning, but a key bit of body language was missed or ignored. You can tell when you're getting close to the line by watching your cat's tail. When a cat has had just about enough, his tail will start twitching.

With sensitive cats or cats you've just met, restrict your caresses to behind the ears, under the chin or at the base of the tail. You can reform hair-trigger cats by watching for the first sign of a tail twitch. When you get that first early warning sign, stop petting and allow him to calm down or to leave if he wants. Over time, you'll build up your cat's tolerance for petting.

-- Children run less risk of being sensitive to allergens if there is a dog in the house in the early years of their lives. Recent studies give weight to the theory that growing up with a pet trains the immune system to be less sensitive to potential triggers for allergies such as asthma, eczema and hay fever.

-- A "three dog night" was once described by comedian Johnny Carson as a "bad night for a tree." But the term originates with the Inuit tribes of Alaska, who measured nocturnal temperatures based on how many of their sled dogs they needed to serve as bed warmers. -- Dr. Marty Becker and Mikkel Becker

ABOUT PET CONNECTION

Pet Connection is produced by a team of pet-care experts headed by "Good Morning America" and "The Dr. Oz Show" veterinarian Dr. Marty Becker and award-winning journalist Gina Spadafori. The two are also the authors of many best-selling pet-care books. Dr. Becker can also be found at Facebook.com/DrMartyBecker or on Twitter at DrMartyBecker.