We don't like to plan for our own deaths, but it's something that needs to be done.

We've been conditioned to think about making arrangements for any children still young enough to need care and possibly for other family members as well. Our belongings have places they're supposed to go, and maybe we've even thought about what sort of funeral service we would like.

But most of us haven't given a moment's thought to what would happen to our pets if something should happen to us. And yet, our pets are counting on us to do so.

How can you ensure that your pets will be well cared for if something happens to you?

You can't leave money to your pet because, in the eyes of the law, an animal is a piece of property, with little more legal status than a chair. Instead, you must leave your pet (and money to take care of the animal, if you can) to a friend, relative or organization that will look out for your pet's interests.

While you should formalize any arrangements with the help of an attorney, it's essential to discuss your plans with the person you've chosen to handle your affairs, and with anyone you hope will adopt your pet. You might assume a friend or family member will adopt your pet, but that same person, no matter how well-meaning, may not be prepared for the responsibility and might quickly drop off the animal at the nearest shelter.

The time to find this out is now, so you can make other arrangements.

If you have more than one pet, you may need to make a separate arrangement for each one. For example, I have made plans for two of my dogs to go back to their breeders should something happen to me, with the understanding that I trust them to either keep the animals or find them suitable new homes. My two other dogs will each go to friends who have agreed to keep them. My parrot will go to his avian veterinarian, who will place the bird in a new home of his choosing. The pocket pets will go back to the rescue group from which they were adopted. Before any of this happens, I have asked a family member I trust to determine if the animals are young and healthy enough to make the adjustment. Any pet who isn't will be euthanized.

With each pet will go a sum of money, either to offset the cost of handling the adoption (in the case of the parrot and the pocket pets), or to provide for the costs of lifetime care (in the case of the dogs).

Hard to think about? You bet it is! But life is uncertain, and although I prefer not to think of the "what ifs," I know it's my responsibility to the pets I love to be certain they're in good hands if something happens

to me.

The Web site of the Association of the Bar of New York City (www.abcny.org) offers information on providing for your pet after your death. You can access the information by clicking on "Reports/Publications," then on "Brochures," and finally by clicking on "Providing for Your Pets in the Event of Your Death or Hospitalization."

Although the information specifically applies to New York state law, it's broad enough to outline all the options. Even better: The association provides sample documents to show how to draw up agreements that will protect your pets.

THE SCOOP

How many litter boxes do you need if you have more than one cat? Experts say to have as many boxes as you have cats, plus one more. That's because cats can be territorial, claiming one or more boxes as their own and denying access to other cats. What happens next is easy to guess: The cats denied have to find someplace else to go -- and if there's not another box, you'll have a mess on your hands.

Put the boxes in different parts of the home, to make sure each cat is covered in his or her own territory. And as always, keep all boxes scrupulously clean to keep your cat content. You wouldn't want to use a dirty bathroom, and neither does a cat.

PETS ON THE WEB

Want all your animal news in one place? The Pet Hobbyist (www.pethobbyist.com) is the place to go. The site now lists headlines that are linked to animal-related stories from around the world, on subjects as varied as heroic pets and endangered species. The site also offers links to pet-care information and community bulletin boards (for talking with other pet lovers and animal experts), as well as an ambitious chat schedule managed by knowledgeable volunteers. Also available are images, classifieds and a calendar of pet events. The site's a little too text-oriented for my taste, but there's no denying the breadth and depth of the information offered here.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: Who would have ever thought having to give up a 6-ounce cockatiel could reduce a grown man to tears? But that's just what happened to me, and I am writing to you to help spare someone else the heartbreak I am going through now over my beloved cockatiel.

What started as cute bird noises in the beginning began to drive me crazy. I couldn't think about anything else but getting the bird to shut up. I realized I am too nervous to have a bird, and I finally placed him in a new home with the help of the local bird society.

Will you please tell your readers what pet stores fail to mention about parrot-type birds? People need to know that there may be constant bird noises from sunup to sundown, regardless of whether guests are over, or someone is trying to use the phone, think or read a book -- no matter how much attention the bird gets. -- D.S., via e-mail

A: I'm glad you were able to find a home for your bird, because a lot of other unwanted pets are not so lucky. And I'm sorry you miss him so much. You are not alone in your lack of information about the true nature of pet birds, and your story serves not so much as to warn people against birds as pets, but rather to warn against taking on responsibility for pets without educating yourself about what they're like and how they need to be cared for.

A great many people have the impression that birds are quiet, easy-care pets. In fact, these highly intelligent beings demand a great deal of time and energy, and yes, they are a constant source of noise (and mess). Some parrots are worse than others -- the stunningly beautiful sun conure is ear-piercingly loud, and the likewise gorgeous rainbow lorry is beyond-the-pale messy. But all parrots, a category that includes cockatiels and budgies, are constant poop-and-noise machines. You have to know that going in.

While it's easy to blame pet stores for not providing information, the responsibility for education must start with the prospective buyer or adopter. You'll find any number of books, magazines and Web sites on every kind of pet imaginable, and you need to do your research before deciding on a pet. "Love at first sight" too often ends up as "Sorry, but you have to go," as you've found out.

Taking on a pet without understanding what's involved is a recipe for disaster. I hope others will learn from your story.

Q: I have a black Lab-chow mix who has been having problems with his ears lately, scratching at them and whining. Is there a home remedy for this? I've heard about using witch hazel. What do you recommend? -- T.H., via e-mail

A: Your dog needs to see a veterinarian right away. He is telling you in no uncertain terms that he is uncomfortable at the very least, and possibly in a fair amount of pain. You cannot treat an ear problem with "home remedies" because you don't know what you're trying to cure. You need a good veterinarian to determine what the problem is, whether it's bacterial, a yeast infection or even an injury.

Once the problem is properly diagnosed, follow your veterinarian's advice on treatment. Give all medication as prescribed, and don't skip a follow-up office call if recommended. Ear problems can be tenacious, and they may take time and money to resolve.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com. You can also read her frequently updated Web log or view her column archives at www.spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Heather's ID tag is unreadable, even though it's less than a year old. I blame the fact that she's always in water -- she's a retriever, so she can't help herself -- for the metal's corrosion. I think I'll go back to plastic.

Ben's tag shows wear, which makes the phone number difficult to read. Chase's tag is missing (who knows for how long?). And Drew? The Perfect Dog, as we call him, has perfect tags. So ... that's three ID tags to order, right away.

Yes, dear readers, it's time for the annual New Year's neck check. I started pushing for this tradition years ago, and I still believe it's as important as ever. It's like checking your smoke detector batteries twice a year when the time changes. Checking your pet's collar and tags annually will ensure that an important safety measure is in place should you and your pet ever need it.

Why New Year's? Because it's easy to remember, and besides, what else are you going to do besides eat, drink and watch football?

Start your neck check with a look at your pet's collar. A properly fitted collar is important, but so too is the right type. For dogs, a buckled or snap-together collar made of leather or nylon webbing is the best choice, and the proper fit is comfortably close but not too snug. Make sure your dog's not wearing a "choke" collar. These are for training and walking only, and they pose a life-threatening hazard if left on an unsupervised dog. Cats should wear a collar with an elastic section that will allow your pet to wriggle free if he gets caught on something.

If you do have the right kind of collar on your pet, take a minute to look at the holes and the fasteners. The collar is weakest at these spots, so if you see signs of excessive wear or strain, you'll need to replace the collar soon.

If the collar passes muster, it's time to look at the tags. A license is great, but since many lost pets are picked up by people in the neighborhood, it's a good idea to supplement the license with an ID tag that has a couple of phone numbers -- yours and the number of a friend or relative. Check to make sure the information is current and legible, and if not, make a note to order a new tag right away.

My pets also carry tags from a company I really like, 1-800-HELP4PETS. The service, which costs $25 per year, is available 24 hours a day to help reunite you with a lost pet. It can also authorize veterinary care if your lost pet is injured and you cannot be immediately located. More information is available by calling the phone number (800-435-7473), or by visiting www.help4pets.com.

Don't delay in fixing any problems you encounter during your pet's neck check. Problems with collars and tags are easy to fix -- and collars and tags are the cheapest insurance you can buy against loss or accidents.

A final note: A microchip is another form of identification well worth considering. The tiny transponder, about the size of a grain of rice, is inserted by a veterinarian over the shoulder blades of dogs and cats, or in the breast of birds, and serves as a permanent identification that cannot be slipped off or removed. My dogs and my parrot are all chipped.

Remember, though, that a microchip doesn't take the place of ID tags. They complement each other, and even if your dog or cat is chipped, he should still wear tags.

THE SCOOP

The avian ear, like all of a bird's anatomy, is streamlined for flight, so you won't find an ear lobe on a bird. Instead, look for a swirl of soft, protective feathers in the place where you think the ear should be. Many pet birds love to have the area around their ear canal scratched.

Birds don't hear high- and low-pitched noises as well as we do, but within the range they do hear, they are able to discern more details. The song of a finch would have to be recorded and played at about one-tenth speed for us to be able to hear the richness and detail of sound a bird can.

PETS ON THE WEB

If you've got an active, healthy dog and access to snow, you might want to consider taking up "skijoring," a sport that combines dogsledding with cross-country skiing. Teams of one or more dogs -- huskies and husky mixes are typical, but many kinds of dogs compete -- pull a skier who's also trying to maximize the team's speed. For information, check out the Web site of the Alaska Skijoring and Pulk Association (www.sleddog.org/skijor) or Midwest Skijorers (www.skijor.org).

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: We solved our cat's shedding problem by vacuuming our pet. We use an upholstery brush attached to a long vacuuming hose (we have central vacuum). It didn't take a lot of training.

First, there were normal brushing sessions with the vacuum running but the hose just lying on the floor. A customary brushing involved treats before and during the brushing (her food is limited for weight maintenance, so feeding is a real treat for her). That got her accustomed to the sound.

Next, the hose was moved closer and closer during brushing. Then, brushing would commence with the vacuuming tool and hose, but not running.

Finally, the whole procedure was put together -- treat, brush, treat and so forth.

We love training our cat! In fact, she has a whole repertoire:

-- She steps up onto an old-fashioned scale to be weighed, sits up or down on command, and tells us (by tapping the Venetian blinds) when she wants the blind raised so she can look out the front window.

-- She knows not to step on the computer keyboard, and she knows a few command words, too. "Busy-busy" (or just the "bzzzz" sound) says "stay away" from the person who is, well, too busy to be bothered.

-- She reacts to the repeated "chair, chair," which means go get onto your chair (a child's chair with attached food bowl). That chair is in the kitchen, and she occasionally responds even if in the dining room.

-- She has mastered playing a true game of hide and seek. It's much different from living with an adoring dog, but there are many pleasures to a cat that responds to "helpful" training. -- P.G. and M.F., via e-mail, Sacramento, Calif.

A: Your note made my day, and it's a perfect example of how what you get out of your relationship with a pet is largely dependent on what you put in. You've spent time working with your cat, gently training her -- and she has bloomed with the attention.

While a cat will never be a dog -- and that's exactly how cat lovers want it -- our feline companions can be trained with gentle, reward-based methods. Clicker-training, the common term for training with operant conditioning, is perfect for cats. To get started, find a copy of Karen Pryor's "Getting Started: Clicker Training for Cats" ($13, Sunshine Books) or join the e-mail group "Cat-Clicker" (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Cat-Clicker/) for tips from others who are training their pets using a method that's fun for both cat and owner.

Q: How very smug of you to suggest that people give to shelters instead of spending money on gifts for their pets. Some people do both, you know. They rescue pets and actually buy "silly" -- as you say -- gifts for their pets.

All those "silly" gifts keep my babies safe from chewing something that just might harm them. Sheesh! Tell me you won't write any more "silly" columns. -- Anonymous, via e-mail

A: When I wrote that pets don't need "silly" gifts for the holidays, I wasn't talking about toys, which all pets need year-round. Toys help pets from becoming bored, unfit and possibly self-destructive or ill. However, I remain firm in my belief that the things pets don't care about or need -- everything from biker jackets to plush "antlers" -- is a sorry misdirection of money that could be better spent helping a homeless pet.

If you just can't help but go silly with your pets –- Valentine's Day isn't far away -- consider a compromise. Spend a little less, and make a donation to a shelter with the money you save.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com. You can also read her frequently updated Web log or view her column archives at www.spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

While you can't completely turn a "skitty kitty" into a lazy lap-cat, you can do a lot to tame a feisty feline -- if you're patient and educate yourself in the basics of cat body language before you start.

All cats are very sensitive to touch, with some disliking it and some revving up the purr machine at the mere promise of a pat. The degree of reactivity has both genetic and social factors. Some cats are born jumpy, while others are made that way because of improper training (such as encouraging a kitten to attack fingers) or a lack of socialization in their first few weeks of life.

Natural activity levels also play a part in how much petting a cat will tolerate. Heavier, larger breeds or mixes are usually more satisfied to be sluggish lap kitties than are the lighter, more willowy cats who like to stay on the move. That's why I like to recommend choosing an adult cat if you have a specific kind of feline personality in mind. After all, one person's adored zoom-zoom cat is another's busybody pest.

The reverse is also true: The laid-back attitude of a couch-potato cat may be disappointing to the person who was hoping for a playful pet.

No matter what kind of cat you have, you can work to increase your pet's tolerance for petting by paying close attention to his body language and slowly increasing the time he spends in your lap.

First, you need to recognize that if your cat bites your hand while you're petting him, you've missed more than a couple of messages from him asking you to stop. The key one: a tail twitch that becomes more agitated, and finally escalates into a noticeable thump or thrash.

You should also be aware that some places are more sensitive than others. For a highly reactive cat, restrict your caresses to behind the ears, under the chin or the base of the tail. A long stroke down the back is too much for some kitties, and you're really taking a chance when you decide to tickle your cat's tummy. The cats who enjoy it are outnumbered by the cats who'll quickly tire and seek to stop it with teeth and claws.

Work to build your cat's tolerance to touch over time -- a long time, in some cases. When you pick up your cat for a petting session, don't surprise him. Come up on him slowly and pick him up gently, making sure his whole body is supported with a hand under his chest and one beneath his legs.

Pet him in the safe areas on his body only, watching for the first sign of a tail twitch. When you get that early warning sign, stop petting and see if he relaxes. If he doesn't, gently put him down or let him leave when he wants to. Don't keep pushing to the point where your cat feels the need to bite. The key is to work up to the outskirts of tolerance and stop there, so your cat will learn to trust you in ever-longer sessions.

Never, ever hit a cat for biting. If you miss the signs and end up in with teeth or claws around your hand, just freeze. Providing no resistance will help calm your cat so he will let go. If you fight back or physically punish your cat, you are more likely to get seriously bitten or scratched in the short run, and damage your relationship with your pet in the long run.

Stay patient and positive, and one day you'll both learn how special your time together can be.

THE SCOOP

Do you have a golden retriever? Has anyone in your family ever blamed an awful after-dinner odor on an innocent dog? Have you ever worn out your arm throwing for a dog who seemingly never tires of "fetch"? If you can answer in the affirmative, you'll probably like the cartoons collected in Bruce Cochran's clever little book, "Golden Fever: A Rollicking Romp With Everyone's Buddy, the Golden Retriever" ($10, Willow Creek Press). As a true retriever believer, I found myself smiling at every page and laughing out loud more than once.

PETS ON THE WEB

My friend Phyllis DeGioia, editor of the Veterinary Partner Web site (www.veterinarypartner.com), recommended that I check out the memorial jewelry offered by a little company called Whisper in the Heart (http://whisperintheheart.com/with/). I'm glad I did! The site is run by an animal lover who knows what it's like to love and lose a pet (the story of her dog Whisper is on the Web site). The necklaces are tasteful, discrete and attractive in either small urn or locket styles. The site also offers a page with helpful pet-loss links, although it's hard to find -- scroll to the bottom and click on "Comments/Links."

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I am 14, and for years I have wanted a dog. It is mostly for companionship, but also because I sometimes get lonely in the house (I'm an only child). It almost feels as if I'm the only person in the world.

The problem is my dad won't let me have a dog. I have written essays, made PowerPoint presentations, read books, given him useful dog Web site addresses and flat-out begged. He doesn't want a dog because all he sees are the negatives -- poop, barking, etc.

My mom likes animals, so she's OK with it. But we really want this to be a family thing and he's so resistant!

Today I came home bawling after letting out my feelings to a friend on the bus. I think I want a dog more than the people who have them. Can you help me convince him? -- A.B., via e-mail

A: I'm going to give your dad the benefit of the doubt -- probably because I'm not 14 -- and assume he has some valid reasons for saying "no." Maybe your family is rarely home, with schedules full of work and school, plus lots of social or sports activities filling up the evenings and weekends. Maybe he doesn't like dogs, or doesn't want one in the house and knows a dog will be miserably lonely if left outdoors all the time. Or maybe he remembers that time when you were 8 and didn't take good care of your hamster.

The good news is that the way to get dogs in your life is also the way to convince your father that you're able and willing to do the work keeping a dog entails. My suggestion: Volunteer at an animal shelter. At many organizations, volunteers can start as young as 14 with parental consent.

Set up a schedule of volunteering, and show your responsibility by sticking to it for a minimum of six months. Depending on the shelter, chances are you'll be put to work walking and socializing the dogs, as well as helping staffers to care for, and clean up after the animals. You'll scoop enough poop to convince your dad that you're more than up to the challenge.

You'll meet a lot of wonderful pets. You'll also learn how animals end up in the shelter, so you'll be able to avoid the pitfalls yourself. Not to mention: Volunteering is a great way to enhance your "marketability" when it comes time to apply for college.

Finally, when you have convinced your dad to say "yes" to a dog, you'll be able to use the dog-savvy you've picked up while volunteering to select a well-mannered shelter dog who'll charm your father into wondering how he ever lived without such a wonderful animal -- and such a smart, responsible kid.

Q: You made a mistake in your recent column. My veterinarian handed me a sheet of plants to watch out for when I got my puppy a few years ago and poinsettias were definitely on it. Please tell your readers before someone's pet gets killed! -- F.L., via e-mail

A: I got quite a few e-mails making the same point you have, but happily, there's no mistake. According to the Animal Poison Control Center (www.aspca.org/apcc) the poinsettia can cause little more than a bad tummy ache, even if ingested in fairly large amounts. That doesn't mean you should put poinsettia foliage into the food processor and then add it to your pet's dish, but it does mean that you can quit worrying that the plant your aunt gave you for the holidays is going to do in your dog.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com. You can also read her frequently updated Web log or view her column archives at www.spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600