Children love pets, and parents love their children. So it's no surprise that many parents give in to their kids' desires (or in some cases, demands) for a pet of their very own.

Making a child happy is a wonderful thing. But if you're considering getting a pet for your child, or if you've already done so, you have think beyond the joy that comes on the day the pet comes home. You must also consider the long-term lessons a pet can teach, and your role in helping bring those lessons home.

Ask any parent what lessons a pet can help teach a child, and it's likely the one they'll name will be "responsibility." It's true: Having to care for a pet on a daily basis is often a child's first introduction to thinking about the needs of others, or even to realizing that others have needs. These are important steps in a child's development to be sure.

But too often, parents don't think about the lessons that are equally important, such as how a pet can help teach a child about commitment and compassion.

There's a tendency, in our throwaway society, to think of all pets as disposable and of relatively inexpensive children's pets -- small birds, rodents or reptiles -- as the most disposable of all. When a child's enthusiasm for a new pet wanes, care for the animal sometimes suffers to the point of neglectful cruelty, or sometimes the animal will be dumped. While neither option is a good one for the pet, allowing these situations to develop is not in a child's best interest either.

What are you teaching a child when you allow a little pet to be neglected or decide to give it away or, worse, to just turn it loose to starve or be eaten? Instead of teaching that living beings are more than "things" that can be thrown away like last year's birthday presents, you've taught that they are disposable. And instead of teaching that, sometimes you have to do what you don't want to because someone is counting on you, you've taught that it's OK to bail out on another living being just because you have things you'd rather do.

Instead of laying the groundwork for a lifetime of giving, you've sent a message that when the going gets tough, it's acceptable to move on, because it's only what your child wants that matters.

Do you really want your child to learn such selfish behavior?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because of a rat I've named Zoe, a former throwaway pet who ended up in the hands of some nice people who try to find new homes for former children's pets. (Believe it or not, there are quite a few rat rescuers around. For a list, visit the Rat Fan Club page at www.ratfanclub.org.)

Zoe came home with me because she was gentle and affectionate, and also because her story of abandonment was so common as to be troubling. Her rescuers get dozens of former children's pets every year, and I wanted to help in a small way.

So many children's pets are not as lucky as Zoe is, which means a lot of children aren't lucky enough to have parents who care enough to teach them that pets are a lifelong commitment.

When you say yes to a pet for your child, do your child and that pet a favor, and realize that the ultimate responsibility -- for teaching your child, for seeing that your child's pet is well cared for -- is yours.

Children learn by example, so please set a good one. No pet, no matter how small, should be discarded because the "newness" wears off, and the sooner your child learns this, the better for your child, that pet and us all.

THE SCOOP

When you're expecting your first baby, it's natural to worry about how your four-legged children will react to the change. Most of that concern is not necessary. If you follow commonsense guidelines, such as never leaving pets and young children unsupervised, chances are your animals will adapt splendidly and your offspring will grow up knowing the many benefits of having animals in the home.

Still, it never hurts to let your pet know what's coming, which is why I was delighted to get a copy of the "Preparing Fido" CD of baby sounds, everything from delighted cooing to ear-shattering screaming. The CD, which comes with a booklet of training tips, is $20.99 including shipping and handling from Preparing Fido, P.O. Box 3712, Albuquerque, NM 87190. You can also purchase the CD with a credit card on the Web, at www.preparingfido.com.

PETS ON THE WEB

Dogs with long backs, such as dachshunds and basset hounds, are particularly prone to spinal injuries. The expense of treatment and the prospect of a long rehabilitation for many of these injured dogs often lead their owners to reluctantly choosing euthanasia, even for pets who are otherwise healthy. The Dachshund Orthopedic Disc Group E-mail Resource, known as the Dodger's List in memory of one such victim, is working to spread the word that a back injury doesn't have to mean death for a beloved pet.

Founded by Linda Stowe, Dodger's List (www.dodgerslist.com) offers practical advice on how to prevent back injuries in dachshunds and other long-backed breeds or mixes, how to minimize them and what can be done after an injury has occurred -- there are lifesaving options! Everyone with a long-backed dog should read the information on this Web site.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: You recently offered suggestions for a reader whose cat knocks things off shelves. Would you please share the tried-and-true trick that has worked for my family?

We taught our cats to stay off the kitchen counter by putting double-sided tape on the counter. (Actually, we set cardboard over the counter and put the tape on that so we didn't have to clean up the sticky remains.) When the cat jumped on the counter, she was horrified that her paws stuck. She jumped down, thoroughly cleaned herself and hasn't been back up since.

For cats who want to knock things off using their paws, we have taped balloons to shelves. When the sharp claws hit the balloons, it scares the cat into next week! This trick also works for dogs who like to steal things off tables -- they burst the balloon in their mouths and it scares them. -- V.P., via e-mail

A: Double-sided tape does indeed work wonderfully, since cats loathe the sensation of having their paws sticking to any surface. The tape also works to discourage cats from clawing the corners of chairs and couches. You can find double-sided tape in any home-supply store, or look in pet-supply stores, catalogs and at Web sites for Sticky Paws, ready-made strips that do the same thing.

I haven't had quite the luck you have had with balloons, though, either with shelf-climbing cats or counter-cruising dogs. But I wouldn't discourage anyone from trying this inexpensive deterrent. You can also try mousetraps, set without bait and placed under a single sheet of newspaper to protect the animal. When the animal trips the trap by walking nearby, it leaps into the air with a frightening "snap!" that discourages a repeat visit.

Still, I wouldn't trust any training method to protect your most valuable pieces, because accidents do happen. Kids and pets break things, that's a given, and the best way to protect your special pieces is by putting them in a place that's safe from harm -- either behind the doors of glass-fronted cabinets or in another room with the door shut.

Q: Can you tell me how to contact an organization we have heard of that provides bulletproof vests for dogs in police and sheriff canine units? We would like to make a donation in memory of a friend's dog. -– D.E., Fair Oaks, Calif.

A: I don't know if it's the one you've heard of, but I did find Pennies to Protect Police Dogs (www.penniestoprotectpolicedogs.org), a charitable organization in Florida founded in 2000 by an amazing young woman named Stacey Hillman, then 10 years old. Since its founding, the organization has raised more than $200,000 and provided vests for police dogs in 16 states. (The vests cost about $600 each, and many municipalities say they just can't afford the extra expense.)

You can donate with a credit card through the Web site, or send a check to Pennies to Protect Police Dogs, c/o Fraternal Order of Police Lodge 140, P.O. Box 1742, Sanford, FL 32772-1742.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com. You can also read her frequently updated Web log or view her column archives at www.spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Just as vacations with children are different from adults-only trips, vacationing with your dog works out better if you plan the journey with an eye to finding places where your pets are truly welcome and traveling when fewer people will be around.

Finding these places can be a challenge, but not as much as it used to be. The travel industry used to grudgingly accept the fact that many people traveled with pets. Now, many hotels, motels and resorts actively court pet lovers, and a few are marketed almost exclusively to this once-neglected group of vacationers. Well-mannered pets and well-heeled pet lovers are appealing to an industry that isn't booking as many vacation travelers as it would like to. And that's good news for people looking for the perfect pet-friendly vacation.

The best way to plan your trip? Check out Web sites dedicated to traveling with pets, and look for vacation ads in pet-related magazines and newsletters.

As for books, you'll find plenty that provide simple listings of places where pets are allowed, such as the AAA travel guides. But there's one series that really gets the inside information on where pets are genuinely welcome -- the Dog Lover's Companion books (www.dogloverscompanion.com). The series has books on California and Florida, on all of New England, and on Seattle, Boston, New York, Chicago and Washington, D.C. I have used these books for years and can't recommend them enough.

Even though more people than ever are traveling with their dogs, there are plenty of people who don't like sharing space with the four-legged tourists. There are also plenty of resort properties that are one pet mess away from changing to a no-dog policy. That means you and your dog must be above reproach, to keep a great place open for future pet travel.

Here are a few things to do on the road:

-- Keep 'em clean. Your dog should be well-groomed and clean-smelling. Always dry off wet dogs and wipe off muddy feet -- using your towels, not the motel's -- before allowing your dog inside. Cover furniture, carpets and bedspreads with your old sheets and towels, and if you need to bathe your dog, be sure, again, to use your towels and clean up afterward.

-- Keep 'em under control. Your dog should be obedient, friendly but not annoying, and never aggressive -- not to people, not to pets and not to wildlife. Do not allow your dog to bark uncontrollably. Use your best judgment when to let a dog off the leash in areas where doing so is allowed, and be sure that your dog isn't annoying other people or pets.

-- Pick up after 'em. Take your dog to out-of-the-way places on resort property to do his business -- the corner of the far parking lot, not the grassy inner courtyard. No leg-lifting allowed near rooms and eating areas. Make it so the pickiest dog hater on Earth wouldn't notice your dog has been around.

And finally, don't forget to show your appreciation. Those of us who travel with our pets realize it's a privilege, not a right, to have a nice place to stay. So along with keeping your pet from being a nuisance, don't forget to say thank-you to resort staff, and tip generously when appropriate. Pets mean extra work for the people who work at these places, so let's try to keep them on our side.

THE SCOOP

A few simple precautions will keep your pets safe on Halloween -- and keep trick-or-treaters safe from your pets, as well. The safest course of action is to keep all pets inside for the night -- roaming cats, in particular, can be a target for random cruelty. And keep dogs away from the front door when you're giving out treats. The latter is important because some pets may not understand that the strangely dressed visitors mean no harm, and may become aggressive or scared.

As for those treats -- be careful. While cats are generally not interested in sugar-packed goodies, many dogs will wolf down all the candy they can, bags and all. Do not give candy to your pets no matter how much they beg. Chocolate, in particular, presents a risk, especially in large quantities for small dogs. And do your best to keep your dog from helping himself to treats, by keeping bowls and bags out of reach.

PETS ON THE WEB

If you'll be traveling without your pets over the upcoming holiday season, you'd better start scrambling now if you're planning to pay someone to care for your pets. That's because pet sitters and boarding facilities get booked far in advance during popular travel periods. If you don't already have a favorite sitter or boarding facility, ask friends, family or co-workers for recommendations. Your veterinarian or groomer might also have some ideas (or maybe facilities for boarding in-house). You can also check the Web sites of the American Boarding Kennel Association

(www.abka.com) or Pet Sitters International (www.petsit.com). Both trade groups offer lists of member businesses, along with helpful advice on how to choose a reputable outfit to look after your pet.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: Would you share more thoughts on moving with pets? I moved a year ago from a large home on one acre to a small home on a city lot. I did the following to make the transition easier on my two cats, ages 13 and 6:

The movers were to come at 8 a.m. The afternoon before, I took both cats to the veterinarian's for the night. After I moved into the new place, I made up the bed with the sheets and blankets I took off that morning, purposely not washing them so that "our scent" would remain. The house had been repainted and recarpeted, so all smells were new, and I wanted to give the cats some point of reference.

I took the cats to the new home from the vet's that afternoon, and let them out of the carriers on top of the bed. They were both glad to be out of the vet's and on their bed again. They checked out their house and were fine. The next day, I let them out into a fenced patio area and they were still OK.

I also want to note that before I moved in, I had cat fencing installed. It was worth the price. I had net fencing installed on top of the 6-foot fence and around the trees. Neither cat can get out of the yard. The younger cat tried climbing the trees, but soon encountered the netting and gave up. -- A.B., Sonoma, Calif.

A: You've hit upon the key to a successful move: good planning and good knowledge of what makes cats tick. Making up the bed in the new house with unwashed linen, with its comforting scents, is absolutely brilliant, and I'm not at all surprised that your cats have made the transition smoothly.

Kudos, too, for your use of cat fencing. Cat fencing also keep cats in the yard, safe from many – but not all – of the hazards found outside. (A determined predator such as a coyote won't be slowed down by cat fencing.)

For those who haven't heard of cat fencing, it's netting or wire cages that are attached to regular fencing at an inward angle to keeps cats from climbing out of a yard. You can order cat-fencing systems from Cat Fence-In (1-888-738-9099; www.catfencein.com) or Affordable Cat Fence (1-888-840-CATS; www.catfence.com). You can also build your own fence from components found in any home-supply outlet; check out the "Do-It-Yourself Cat Fence" Web page (www.feralcat.com/fence.html) for directions.

Q: My dog sometimes has a warm, dry nose. He hasn't seemed at all sick, so I haven't taken him to the vet. Should I be worried that he's running a fever? –- K.M., via e-mail

A: An occasional dry nose is nothing to worry about, and is not necessarily a sign of fever, despite what folks have said for years.

The only way to determine if your pet is running a fever is to take his temperature. You can find pet thermometers in almost any pet-supply outlet, either the inexpensive in-the-fanny kind or the pricier ones that slip into the ear canal. (Whichever you choose, I recommend marking the item to be certain everyone in the family knows it's for use on pets only.)

Normal temperature for dogs is around 101 degrees, although a degree in either direction is nothing to worry about.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com. You can also read her frequently updated Web log or view her column archives at www.spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

We spend millions of dollars every year to fill feline litter boxes. We fill them with products made from all sorts of absorbent materials along with additives to help with cleanup and smells.

But what about the object you put the litter in? Before you pick up the one of those common plastic trays -- sold anywhere pet supplies can be found -- you need to remember that when it comes to potty choices, your cat's opinion is the only one that really matters.

The cat holds all the cards, because a pet who doesn't like the potty setup -- the box, the filler, the location -- will take her business elsewhere. That means it might take a little imagination and a lot of experimentation before you hit upon the magic combination. (Once you find that magic formula, stick with it for as long as it works, because cats don't react well to change.)

Before I get into the boxes you can buy at pet-supply outlets, I have to mention those that you won't find there. Over the years readers have shared the virtues of larger and deeper litter boxes, using plastic sweater boxes, mortar-mixing trays and oversized dishwashing tubs. Some of these options may be cheaper than products marketed for cats, and for many cats, a larger litter box will definitely keep things neater. For kittens, you might want to think smaller by using a 9-by-13-inch baking pan. Visit household-products retailers and home-supply stores (not to mention garage sales) to explore the possibilities.

When it comes to litter pans marketed for cats, you also have plenty of options. Here are a few:

-- Simple plastic pans. Millions of cats have done just fine with this design, and yours may be among them. Relatively inexpensive and widely available, these pans come in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors. Some have special rims to keep more filler in the box. Make sure the one you choose is easy to scrub clean.

-- Covered pans. Manufacturers say covered pans keep down odors and prevent dogs and children from getting into the filler. Unfortunately, some owners take the approach that if they can't smell the litter box or see the mess, it doesn't need attention.

If you choose this kind of pan, don't forget that you must be as on top of its cleaning as you would with any other variety. Don't blame your cat for mistakes if you can't keep the litter box clean. One caution: Cats with asthma should not use a covered litter pan. They need the increased ventilation that an open-air variety offers.

-- Self-cleaning pans. No one likes to clean the litter box, but some cats are so fussy that if you let this important chore wait, your cat may turn up her nose and go elsewhere. In recent years, inventors have come up with new pans that make cleaning a nearly hands-off affair, thanks to the easy-clean properties of clumping cat-box filler.

Some of these boxes have lift-and-sift inserts that collect used clumps as you remove them, while you roll the others over, thereby running litter through a collector that catches and holds the clumps. (This is widely considered to be safe, despite what you might read on the Internet.)

The absolute high-end of the easy-clean line would have to be electric self-cleaning litter boxes. Experience with these products has been across the board: I've heard from readers who absolutely love them, while others thought them a terrible waste of money. Big cats and skittish cats seem to not take to these products, but for others, it may be the perfect solution for keeping things clean.

One related litter-box product I've been impressed with is the Petmate LitterLocker. This product makes it easy to keep the litter box clean by giving pet lovers a place to drop the daily deposits that will hold the mess and smell for a few days. The LitterLocker costs around $60.

Having a product like this should help keep the litter box clean. And that's important, because many cats won't use a dirty litter box, no matter how much thought you've put into choosing the litter, the box and the location.

THE SCOOP

Not too long ago, performing surgery on rabbits was considered too risky except in life-threatening emergencies, which is why veterinarians sometimes discouraged spaying and neutering. But that's now changed. With today's improvements in anesthesia, it's pretty well accepted that pet rabbits are better off neutered.

The benefits go beyond birth control. Altered rabbits have fewer health and behavior problems than ones who haven't had the procedures done. So get your bunny fixed!

PETS ON THE WEB

Looking for that perfect piece of iguana art for your living room? Trying to find turtle-themed jewelry to wear on that special social occasion? Then you'll want to check out the HerpArts Web site (www.herparts.com), which offers one-stop shopping for reptile-related merchandise.

In addition to the prints and jewelry, the site offers books, note cards, magnets and more. I just can't imagine where else you're going to find a magnet that says, "Proud to be a turtle lover."

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: We've always kept our cockatiel's wings clipped, but recently we let them grow out. We've found, to our surprise, that she's quite the flier and seems to enjoy the exercise. She doesn't go outside, of course.

My son -- it's his bird -- thinks it would be cruel to ground her now. What do you think? –- A.F., via e-mail

A: I can understand your desire to let your bird fly in what seems to be a safe environment -- your home. But the truth is that even inside the house, there are many dangers for a flighted bird.

Not all birds need to have their flight feathers kept short, just those pets who come out of their cages to interact with their owners. Finches and canaries are happier if not handled, and their feathers should be left alone so they can fly in their cages for exercise. (The bigger the cage the better!)

But when it comes to most parrots (and that group does include cockatiels and budgies), out-of-cage time is a good thing, the more the better. Loose, flighted birds can get themselves into plenty of trouble, however. Any avian veterinarian can tell you about birds who have slammed into windows, or landed in sizzling frying pans or boiling pots of water. Some have even flown into open toilets and drowned.

Another problem with a flighted bird: Losing your pet is just one open window or door away. Birds who escape to the outdoors are not often recovered, and although some can survive in warmer climates, many won't make it in the wild for long.

Difficult as it may be to keep your bird flightless, clipping her wings is the most responsible thing to do in the interests of her safety.

Your bird's veterinarian or a reputable bird shop will be happy to show you how to trim those flight feathers at the end of each wing, or will do it for you if you'd rather not handle this task on your own.

Q: Our puppy is getting her adult teeth, but a baby "canine" tooth remains, sort of hanging at an angle in front of the adult tooth. Will it fall out on its own? Do we need to worry? -- R.E., via e-mail

A: Baby teeth that stick around after the adult teeth come in are fairly common and nothing much to worry about, really. When your puppy goes in for his last round of vaccinations, mention the problem to your veterinarian. He or she will likely yank the tooth for you.

Chances are it'll fall out before then, though, especially if you encourage your pet to keep chewing vigorously during his teething period. Remember to give your puppy lots to chew on -- especially during teething -- and to praise your pet for using "approved" chewing objects instead of household items. Many times people are quick to punish pets for doing wrong, but take good behavior for granted.

If you catch your pet chewing on something you'd rather she'd leave alone, distract her by clapping your hands, or slapping a hand on a tabletop, and then quickly offer her a chew toy instead. When she takes it, tell her many times over how wonderful she is!

You can make "chewies" such as Kongs or other hollow toys more attractive by stuffing them with a little peanut butter or that cheese-in-a-can product. Some people jam bits of broken biscuits into the toys as well, mashing them into the peanut butter or soft cheese.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com. You can also read her frequently updated Web log or view her column archives at www.spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600