On my recent vacation I left my own pets at home and spent a week on the other side of the country, nearly biting my tongue clean through while trying to keep from lecturing a friend there on how to better take care of her dog.

Which just proves, I suppose, that you never can really take a vacation from being an advice columnist.

That the friend loves her dog, I do not question. But she has a blind spot when it comes to a certain aspect of caring for her pet, one shared by so many people that veterinarians see the problem -– and the inevitable, sad results of that problem –- in their practices every day. The problem her dog and so many other pets share is one that contributes to all kinds of disease, leads to premature aging and death, and diminishes the quality of an animal's life every day.

That problem? My friend's dog is fat.

And not a little bit fat, either. This sweet middle-aged dog is so large that she can't stand for more than a few minutes without collapsing in exhaustion, and can't take a walk on the beach without getting so overheated she has to flop into the surf to cool off.

"People tell me my dog is fat -– as if they're telling me something I don't know," said the friend, when I finally decided to suggest gently that her dog needed to lose 30 or 40 pounds. "But I believe that if she got to choose between being thin and being full, she'd rather be full."

Well, maybe. But the choice of whether or not a pet is obese isn't made by the animal, but rather by the person taking care of that animal. Pets aren't in control of what they eat. We are. And too many of us are doing a horrible job when it comes to feeding our pets.

We are killing our pets with generosity when it comes to food.

Obesity in pets causes a lot of the same problems it does in people. An overweight pet is prone to a host of health problems, including diabetes, joint, ligament and tendon difficulties, breathing and heart challenges. Not to mention the reduced quality of life many of these animals suffer -– and in the case of pets as large as my friend's dog, "suffer" is exactly the right word.

If your pet is overweight, the best place to start correcting the situation is with a trip to your veterinarian. You'll want to make sure your pet doesn't have any health problems that might make feeding or lifestyle changes difficult or dangerous. After you get the go-ahead from your veterinarian, getting your pet to lose weight works the same way as it does with people: less food, more activity, with an eye to a very gradual but steady reduction in pounds.

Some other tips: Get out of the habit of constantly handing food to your pet, whether from your own dish or from a box of treats. Never give food to a begging pet, since it just reinforces that annoying behavior. When you need to give a treat, such as to reward good behavior while training, use the smallest size possible by breaking off a tiny bit instead of feeding a whole treat. You can also substitute pieces of rice cakes or carrot sticks for the occasional dog treat.

Figure out a way to get your pet to be more active, such as with a daily walk or game of fetch. For cats, buy a "fishing pole" toy and play with your pet every night.

Above all, don't ignore the problem. Keeping your pet's weight down is not only good for your pet's health and quality of life, but it's also one of the most effective strategies for saving money on veterinary care.

This is one column I'll be sending to a friend. If you have a friend who also needs to read it, please do the same.

PETS ON THE WEB

Beth Adelman is one of the best editors in the pet-care world, with a career that includes editing the American Kennel Club's magazine, as well as the much-missed Cats magazine. A couple of years ago, she started a wonderful online magazine for cat lovers, The Daily Cat (www.dailycat.com), which is filled with a perfect balance of articles on health and behavior, as well as those on the pleasure of sharing life with a cat.

And now, good news for dog lovers: Adelman is now also editing a Web site for them, The Dog Daily (www.dogdaily.com). While there's not much on the dog site yet, a look at the cat site suggests The Dog Daily will be worth watching in the months to come.

THE SCOOP

Every summer I get questions from people who are wondering if their longhaired pets would be happier shaved down. In most cases, clipping a longhaired pet for summer isn't necessary -– as long as your pet is protected from the heat, he'll be perfectly fine with a long coat. A couple of exceptions are worth noting, however.

If your pet's coat is badly matted, it's usually easier on both you and your pet to shave him down rather than try to comb out the tangles. As the coat grows back in, regular brushing can keep the problem from recurring.

You might also consider clipping your dog's long coat if he spends a lot of time in wild areas. Turning a longhaired dog into a shorthaired one makes it more difficult for burrs to attach themselves, and easier for you to spot and remove any ticks your dog picks up along the way.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I recently had a bad mishap when I was taking my golden retriever, Bailey, out to relieve herself. When she was done, I decided to hold the retractable leash between my knees and bend over to scoop. Before I could react, she took off after a cat, with the leash pulling through the back of my bare legs at lightning speed. I fell over backward, sandwiching the speeding line between the backs of my knees.

I put ice compresses on my legs for days. Even now, 10 days later, the long gashlike scabs are barely formed, and I can't walk up or down stairs comfortably because of the skin bending behind my knees.

I felt silly to have had such an accident, so I looked up "retractable leash injury" online and found that you had written about it. I feel a bit better now, but compelled to say that I am going to switch to a normal leash from now on! -- C.L., via e-mail

A: Reel-type retractable leashes are popular and useful, but they do come with a degree of risk. The manufacturers are well aware of the dangers of improper use, and you'll find warnings on both the product packaging and the informational Web site of the popular Flexi brand (www.flexiusa.com).

For safety's sake, don't use a reel-type leash with a dog who isn't perfectly reliable on a leash. (Since these leashes encourage pulling, it's unlikely you'll be able to train a dog to walk on leash properly while using them.) You should also take a few minutes to review the safety information before snapping one of these leashes to the collar of even the most reliable dog, especially if your dog is a strong one.

Q: This is about alternative types of litter boxes. I have an extremely large cat, Sparky, who weighs 28 pounds. He is so big that ordinary cat boxes were too small for him. The poor old boy would think that he'd dug the perfect hole to go in, but alas, his rear end was hanging over the edge of the box.

My solution: I bought a large plastic tray that's used to mix mortar and is sold at home improvement stores. The trays have rounded corners so the litter is easy to get out and doesn't stick in the corners like regular cat boxes. Also, because they are slightly higher than regular litter boxes, the cat doesn't seem to track out as much litter. Will you add this to your list of litter-box suggestions? –- J.D.S., via e-mail

A: When you combine yours with the recent suggestion I received of using a water-heater pan under parrot areas for easy cleanup, it seems you can find some really great pet-care supplies at the local home-improvement store.

I applaud your inventiveness in seeing potential for mess containment in these mortar-mixing trays, and I'm happy to pass along the information.

A gentle suggestion, though: See your veterinarian for help in trimming Sparky down some. With most cats running about nine pounds, I'm guessing your cat's weight isn't all a result of being "big boned."

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com. You can also read her frequently updated Web log or view her column archives at www.spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

In the summer, I get a lot of questions about puppies from people who realize that this season is a great time for adding to the family. Long days, no school, warm weather -- what could be better?

A few words of warning, though, if you're one of those people with a new summer pup: Don't let the season pass you by without putting some serious effort into raising the great dog you want your puppy to become.

Puppies need structure, consistency and lots of positive reinforcement. But more than anything, they need your time. Every minute with a puppy spent training, socializing and preventing problems will save you time and aggravation down the road.

Teach your puppy to get things right from the start, remove opportunities for undesirable behavior -- such as limiting your pup's access to areas where he can chew things you'd rather he leave alone. Keep him where he can't get into much trouble, and give him a toy to chew on instead. Don't forget to praise him for making the right decision -- even if the right choice was the only one offered.

In training, stick to the positive. Use praise and treats to motivate and reward your puppy as he learns the basic building blocks of good behavior.

You'll need some tools to help you stop unwanted behavior. Here are few effective ways to turn a situation around without resorting to physical punishment:

-- The ol' switcheroo. Especially useful for the young puppy, this technique stops a behavior you don't want and provides the puppy with one that's acceptable. For example, if your young puppy is chewing on your nice leather shoes, make a noise to startle and distract him -- slap the counter or clap your hands -- and then give him something you do want him to chew on, such as a toy. When he takes it, praise him. (And then put those shoes away.)

-- Ask for another behavior. With older puppies and dogs, you can stop a bad behavior by asking for a better one. Tell the puppy who's jumping up for attention to sit instead and then praise him for planting his rump on the ground.

-- The time-out. Crates, so useful for house-training, give you a break from your puppy and send him a message at the same time. Puppies thrive on your attention, sometimes even if it's negative. The time-out removes this reward and gives a pup a few minutes to think things over. And sometimes, having a place to put your puppy will help keep you from losing your temper.

If your puppy has been running around for a long time and just seems bratty, he may be tired. If that's the case, put him in his crate for a nap, along with a chew toy. Ignore his fussing. Chances are he'll be asleep in a few minutes.

If you're constantly trying to reprimand your puppy, you may be sending him mixed signals: laughing at bratty behavior sometimes, yelling or hitting your puppy for that same behavior at other times. Discuss the situation with a trainer. You may have some big problems developing if you don't learn how to shape your puppy's behavior in a positive way.

No matter how well you're doing in raising your puppy, a puppy class is time and money well spent. Puppy classes for dogs as young as 12 weeks offer puppies a chance to socialize, and give you an opportunity to work with your pup under the expert eye of a trainer.

THE SCOOP

On these hot days, it's perfectly fine to give pets ice cubes to enjoy. Dogs and cats may even enjoy "petsicles" made from chicken or beef broth and frozen in ice-cube trays.

One way to keep a pet's drinking water cool is to add homemade ice blocks. Freeze water in margarine tubs, and then add a block of ice to the water dish before you leave for work in the morning. You like cold treats and cool drinks on hot days, and so does your pet!

PETS ON THE WEB

The Delta Society, an organization that supports and promotes such activities as using animals for therapy and the use of service dogs by people with disabilities, has pulled together an excellent collection of resources related to pet loss and bereavement. The resource Web page (www.deltasociety.org/dsn000.htm) offers a bibliography of helpful books, information on bereavement hot lines and support groups around the country, as well as links to other related sites.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: You've advocated having two pets to keep each other company, so I am not sure how having only one parrot (as you do) fits into that view. In the wild, don't parrots live in large flocks?

But, my main question is how such a pet-loving person could condone having any bird confined to a cage, when flying is what they do best and love?

I realize you enjoy their companionship, but as you've stated, parrots are extremely intelligent, so isn't it like "imprisoning" a young child? -- W.H., via e-mail

A: I don't have a problem with someone having a single pet -- as long as the pet's needs are met, including the social ones. I've been writing about pets long enough to know better than to deal in absolutes: I've seen all kinds of pets in all kinds of families work out well, as long as the people involved accept the responsibility for the care of their pets.

Parrots are social animals, true, but like dogs, they are able to accept us as members of their social circle. We are the "flock" or "pack" to our pets, as they are "family" to us. This is especially true of those parrots who are domestically bred and hand-raised from the time they are hatched.

Is it cruel to keep a caged pet? In some cases, I think it is. I have a serious problem with pets who are cage-bound for life, especially when those cages are small and with no environmental enrichment, and when the pets get nothing in the way of attention except the changing of food and water dishes, or the occasional cage cleaning. (So many children's pets live this way, after their young owners lose interest in them.)

Although he's not free to roam the native habitat of his wild ancestors, my parrot has a pretty good life. Eddie is only "imprisoned" in his toy-filled cage at night or when I'm not home, for his safety. Otherwise, he's climbing all over the inside and outside of his open cage, playing on one of his two natural-wood play stands, or wandering about the house and yard with me. (For the outside, he wears a tether to keep him from flying away -- a possibility even for birds with wing clips, if the right gust of wind comes along.) We play games that we've made up together, and he's learning tricks. He loves to play and to snuggle.

I'm not alone in taking such care of my bird. Many parrot-fanciers work hard to give their pets the best life possible short of living free, and these birds seems quite happy.

Q: In a recent column you mentioned nonstandard litter boxes. I use plastic under-bed storage boxes with the lid removed. My cats love them.

A friend of mine had a cat who didn't want to use the litter box (standard size), but when she switched to one of the larger storage boxes, he started using it regularly.

The storage boxes are about $5 or $6, so they actually cost less than the large litter boxes that are sometimes available from pet-supply stores. Will you pass the word along? -- C.S., via the Internet

A: You bet! You've happened on one of the most important rules when it comes to getting a cat to use the litter box: If the cat ain't happy, nobody's happy.

Cats need a box in which they can feel safe and comfortable, in a place that's protected, filled with clean litter of a type the cat prefers that isn't gunked up with deodorizing smells humans like but cats don't.

I'm always hearing from readers who are frustrated because their cats won't use whatever litter setup they're provided, chalking the problem up to the cat's "spite," "stupidity" or something equally off base. Bigger box, new location, different litter: Sometimes it just takes a change or two to get a cat back on track, as well as an owner with the patience and imagination to try.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com. You can also read her frequently updated Web log or view her column archives at www.spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Some of the most interesting people I've met in my years spent writing about pets are those who have turned their passion for animals into their life's work.

When you think about people who make their living working with pets, veterinarians, dog trainers or people who run boarding or pet-sitting businesses probably come to mind. And you'd be right -- these are among the most common and visible of people involved in caring for animals professionally.

But if you poke around at shows or on the Internet, or among those little ads in the back of pet magazines, you'll find a whole world of people who had a good idea for a single well-crafted pet product. Or maybe they have a handful of ideas, and they're working outside the realm of the big chain stores to bring these lovely items to the people and pets who most appreciate them.

They're not outside the superstore system entirely by choice, by the way. With their hand-crafted items they find it difficult break into the "big time," maybe because they can't handle the volume, can't meet the price, or both. So they eke out a living on the edges, providing a small but dedicated pet-loving clientele with some rather nifty goods.

I've run across two such products recently, made by small family businesses owned by people who seem passionate about their pets.

The first product is the Kitty Tease, made by John Galkiewicz's, The Galkie Company. His award-winning "cat fishing pole" toy has been going strong for 20 years. It's sold by mail and at pet shows and endorsed by veterinarians, behaviorists and cats everywhere. Galkiewicz sent me a sample, and it was everything he said the cheap ones were not -- it's made of high-quality materials for years of happy use.

"People ask me, what makes the Kitty Tease so special?" said Galkiewicz. "I tell them, 'it's because it's designed for a cat, not a person or a wallet.'"

Considering that more cats than ever before are staying inside -- a good thing, for their safety and health -- toys are very important to keeping them active and engaged. A toy like this is great fun for both cat and human, keeping the cat from becoming a couch potato and keeping the human from being the object of play attacks.

The Kitty Tease is $10, plus $5 shipping and handling from the company's Web site (www.kittytease.com), by phone (423-869-8138) or by mail (P.O. Box 20, Harrogate, TN 37752).

The Kitty Tease may be too pricey for the chain stores, but it's awfully cheap compared to the spectacular parrot play gyms made by Wayne Gagne of Wayne's Parrot Stuff (www.waynesparrotstuff.com; P.O. Box 848322, Pembroke Pines, FL 33084; tel: (954) 538-1994). That observation is not a knock on the gyms, which are large, wonderfully designed and sturdy play stations for parrots. They're handmade from the foot-friendly, chewable limbs of bottlebrush trees.

I might never have heard of Gagne's gyms had it not been for my friend Ben, whose macaw Courtney is crazy for hers. He told me her personality changes to happy, playful and animated, whenever she goes near it.

With my new parrot, I wanted to try the product out, so I ordered one, along with some toys. Two weeks later the gym arrived, and I set it up in less than 10 minutes. My experience has been the same as Ben's: My little parrot Eddie lights up when I put him on his play gym. He climbs, chews, swings and just loves the freedom of being out of his cage. When I'm home that's usually where you'll find him.

Prices start at around $200 for models made for cockatiels and other small parrots and go up from there, depending on the size and complexity of the play gym and the species for which it's designed. Gagne also offers some marvelous toys made from bottlebrush, cotton rope, wood, leather and other bird-friendly materials, as well as perches, starting at $6 for the smaller perches and climbing to around $160 for a set of toys and perches for large parrots. Great stuff, all of it.

PETS ON THE WEB

I've been meaning to mention the IMOM site (www.imom.org) for ages, after so many readers have pointed it out. Short for "In Memory of Magic" in honor of a special black cat, the site connects pet-loving people with a little money to give with those whose pets have treatable medical conditions they cannot afford to remedy. IMOM is a 501(c)3 charity, and the first person who wrote me about it was someone whose pet had been saved by the group.

THE SCOOP

Wayne Gagne of Wayne's Parrot Stuff passes along a nifty tip for containing parrot mess for easy cleanup -- go to the home-supply store and buy a pan designed for going under a water heater, at a cost of $15 to $20. Designed to contain leaks, the pans will catch anything and everything your bird drops, throws or ... well, you get the point. Buy a couple so you can switch in a fresh pan while you're cleaning the dirty one.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I came across a book I thought was helpful in finding out which dog is the right one for people looking for a pet. It is "Paws To Consider: Choosing the Right Dog for You and Your Family" by Brian Kilcommons and Sarah Wilson (Warner Books, $23).

It lists information for each breed such as: usual pluses, possible drawbacks, height and weight, color, grooming, shedding, training, exercise, children, other pets, bite potential, possible health concerns and special comments. It also breaks down the breeds into categories such as: good dogs that are hard to find, the 9-to-5 dog, the family dog, etc.

I was interested in finding out about greyhounds -- all I had ever heard was good things. I know that all breeds have issues of some kind, health or behavior. This book gave me a good overview. It also helped me know about similar breeds that I may not have known about, such as the whippet and Italian greyhound. This will be helpful when I start looking for a new dog. -- N.M., via e-mail

A: This book is one of my favorites, too. So many breed-selection books seems to bend over backward not to offend people who fancy breeds that really shouldn't be in most homes (either because of temperament issues or such things as super-intensive grooming requirements). These authors pull very few punches, and their candor is just what someone needs before jumping into a breed that might be a horrible mistake for their family. It's an entertaining read, too!

I also like Michele Welton's "Your Purebred Puppy: A Buyer's Guide" (Henry Holt, $16). That's because Welton's book contains some of the best information I've ever read on finding a reputable breeder and avoiding the other kind -- and why that's so important. The fact is, even if you choose the perfect breed of dog for your family, if you get a puppy from a less-than-reputable breeder, you've thrown your hard work out the door. There are scads of clueless and careless people out there who are producing purebreds with shocking health and temperament problems, dogs that will break both your heart and pocketbook. Don't support them!

Whatever kind of pet you're considering, it's so important to take your time and do your homework before making what should be a lifetime commitment. Books like these really help.

Q: Is there a solution I can mix with household supplies to keep the neighbor's dog from using my yard as his bathroom? Some spray that would deter the dog by the smell? My neighbor walks his dog to my back yard and allows him to go to the bathroom there twice a day. I have two German shepherds, and I clean up after my dogs in our own yard. -- D.A., via e-mail

A: Too bad there's nothing you can spray on your neighbor to change his irresponsible and inconsiderate ways. Beyond that, the best I can suggest is talking to him -- if you haven't tried that already -- and asking him to take his dog elsewhere, or a least pick up after the animal.

This is one of those cases where a good fence around your property would make a better neighbor out of this nitwit.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com. You can also read her frequently updated Web log or view her column archives at www.spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600