One of my best friends doesn't practice preventive care with her dogs. She also lets her cats roam the neighborhood (disappearing at the rate of about one a year). She does just about everything with her pets contrary to current advice, right down to feeding her cockatiel nothing but sunflower seeds.

She truly loves her pets, but she insists on following pet-care standards that are at least 20 years out of date.

The bird likes seeds, she says, so what's the harm? Children like candy, I tell her, but you don't let them eat it all day. And then, we agree to disagree, on this point as on all others pet-related. Sometimes you not only can't change the world, but you can't even influence your friends.

If birds love seeds -- and most crave them -- doesn't it follow that they should be eating what they want? Avian veterinarians are pretty consistent in arguing against seeds these days. An all-seed diet will make most birds sick over time, the experts say, denying the pets the nutrients they need for long-term survival and weakening them to the point where other diseases might be able to take hold.

The trend in recent years has been toward pelleted diets, and pet birds are healthier as a result. Pelleted diets are readily available from many reputable manufacturers and can be purchased from any bird shop or from many veterinarians who work with birds.

Pelleted food is a blend of grains, seeds, vegetables, fruits and various other protein sources. Manufacturers mix the ingredients and then either bake and crumble them or extrude them, ending up with pellets of a proper size for any given species (large pellets for large birds, small pellets for small birds).

This process produces a food that is superior to the "smorgasbord" way of feeding -- the bird cannot pick out his favorite foods and ignore the rest. Pellets also are convenient for bird owners. These commercially prepared diets are easy to buy, relatively inexpensive and store nicely in a cool, dry place.

Pelleted foods should be the foundation of your bird's diet -- some 70 percent to 80 percent -- but they're not a good diet on their own. Your bird also needs a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables, along with other "people foods" such as pasta, eggs, breads, rice and unsalted nuts in their shells. Excessively fatty foods or overprocessed foods should be avoided, since many pet birds are perch potatoes, prone to obesity. A good rule of thumb: If it's healthy for you, it's good for your bird, too. Do keep pellets and fresh, clean water available at all times.

In addition to rounding out a commercial diet, fruits, nuts and other people food gives your bird something to keep him occupied and entertained. To that end, leave fresh food in as natural a form as possible. Clean it, of course, but make your bird work some to eat it. Corn left on the cob is a great example of good food that also offers a fun challenge to eat.

Do you really need to deny your bird a treat as appreciated as seeds? The phrase "all things in moderation" definitely applies when it comes to seeds. Given in small amounts, seeds are a wonderful way to help teach your bird tricks or to reward him for good behavior. But seeds should be a treat, not a staple, to ensure proper nutrition for your bird.

Birds love seeds, and it's fine to give them now and then. But as a diet for these pets, they are strictly not for the birds at all.

PETS ON THE WEB

Pet birds do not live by food alone -- they need to be kept occupied. The Birdbrain (www.thebirdbrain.com) is one of the best sources for toys and other things to keep your bird busy. Proceeds from their sales go to one of the best bird charities around, the well-respected Colorado-based Gabriel Foundation (www.thegabrielfoundation.org).

The Birdbrain offers all kinds of parrot-related items, from perches to food containers to cleaning supplies, but the toy selection is truly outstanding. The shop breaks them down into categories such as "noisemakers," "foot toys" and "destructible," and will even suggest toys for birds with disabilities. I visited the Gabriel Foundation/Birdbrain in Colorado a few years back, and took home a rather large collection of toys for my Senegal parrot. Great stuff!

THE SCOOP

Although you can find a special thermometer for pets in any pet-supply catalog or well-equipped pet-supply store, you can also use an ordinary glass mercury or digital-readout "people" device from your pharmacy. (If you want to pay more -- around $80 -- you can now get a digital thermometer for pets that reads temperature from the ear canal, very nifty!)

To take your pet's temperature, lubricate the thermometer with petroleum jelly or a water-based lubricant, such as K-Y. Gently and slowly insert the thermometer about one or two inches into your pet's fanny.

Leave the thermometer in place for a couple of minutes. In a normal cat or dog, the temperature should be between 100 degrees and 102.5 degrees, and the thermometer should be almost clean after it's removed. Anything much above or below that range is cause for concern, as is any blood or other matter on the thermometer.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I recently had to board my dog. I'm looking at keeping him there for at least three months until my new home is finished. Is that too long? Also, the boarding facility has stated that because of the possible stress, I should keep my visits to the very minimum. Do you agree with this? -- T.R., via e-mail

A: I would rather see your dog with a family for that duration, such as with a friend or relative. Is it possible for someone to do that for you, if you paid the bills? Three months is a long time in a kennel, but if that's your only option, you really haven't much choice.

As for visiting, my advice would depend on the dog. Some dogs have very adaptable, love-the-one-you're-with personalities, and such a dog would probably be fine with visits. The one who'd mope and carry on for days after you left would probably be better off settling into the kennel routine without visits.

I'm dealing with a similar situation, having moved out of one house and waiting for the escrow to close on another. The three dogs and I were living with my brother, but I've had to send my 9-month-old toy spaniel to live with a friend because my brother's fences are old, with lots of places for a small, curious dog to escape. We patched the fence as best we could, but after Chase's second outing I decided it just wasn't safe for him to remain with me now. (My big dogs are neither interested in getting out nor small enough to squeeze through the gaps in the fence line.)

Chase is staying at his Aunt Tami's house for about six weeks in all, and I decided it would be easier on him if I didn't visit. He has settled into his temporary situation well, and I have no doubts he'll do the same when he's back with me in our new home.

Q: My calico cat licks any blanket she can find around the house until it is soaked with kitty spit. I've never had a cat who did this before. What's behind it? -- O.B., via email

A: This condition is called "wool-sucking." Although it's very common in Siamese or other so-called "Oriental" breeds, it's certainly not uncommon in the general cat population. Behaviorists aren't really sure what causes it and aren't sure how to cure it. The best I can offer is some "might help, can't hurt" suggestions.

You should definitely put away anything that's too nice to be damaged. Keep bedrooms off-limits by closing the doors to protect the blankets on the beds.

Set out some "decoy" blankets, and apply a deterrent such Bitter Apple, Tabasco, hot pepper oil, etc. This might break the habit, but maybe not. Spraying fabrics lightly with perfume is also a common recommendation.

Some experts believe that increasing the fiber in the cat's diet may also help. You can do that by adding a little canned pumpkin on a regular basis -- it's also good for hair balls. More activity is also recommended, such as playing with your cat regularly with a cat-fishing-pole toy or other lure object.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Recently I spent the weekend in the company of some of the most beautiful cats in the world at the Cat Fanciers' Association annual international show in Houston.

These show cats -- beefy British shorthairs, slender Siamese, kinky-haired rexes and silky Persians, and many more marvelous breeds –- have never known hunger or cold. And I doubt that any have ever felt much fear. Barring a disaster in the lives of their owners, it's hard to imagine that cats at this level of competition will live out their days in anything other than loving, high-quality care.

The CFA knows that such experiences aren't the norm for many cats and has always been good about supporting feline charities. The association is closely tied to the Winn Feline Foundation (www.winnfelinehealth.org), which sponsors important research into feline health. And among the booths at the prestigious international show, the CFA always welcomes volunteers and displays from shelters and rescue groups.

I was feeling pretty good about pretty cats and healthy charities until I bumped into a person who works for a nonprofit animal shelter in a large city, a group with an international reputation for innovation. I asked him how things were at work, expecting to hear of another exciting program in a long string of successes.

He did not offer good news. "We're having layoffs," he said. It wasn't the first time I'd heard such a thing in the last couple of years. Times are tough for charities, even the relatively healthy and wealthy ones. The reasons are many. Some large donations in the '90s came in the form of stocks that are now worth a fraction of their original value. Then, the flood of giving in the wake of the terrorist attacks was concentrated on relief efforts, and money was diverted from thousands of other groups at local, regional and national levels. And now the sluggish economy hasn't exactly spurred charitable giving.

I always suggest that in this season of giving, animal lovers remember to include those groups that care for pets who are not as lucky as our own. That's especially true this year, when so many of these nonprofits are struggling.

Money is always welcome when it comes time to give, of course. You can make a simple donation, or you can buy a membership as a gift for an animal-loving friend or family member. But you don't have to write a check to help.

Groups can often use items you might be throwing away, such as old newspapers or frayed towels. You might also consider buying large bags of pet food or cat litter on sale and donating those. Some groups have thrift stores or occasional tag sales, so you can donate almost any used and still usable -- item for them to sell to raise money. Also appreciated are office supplies such as paper, notebooks and pens.

Some organizations need relatively new computers, scanners, copiers and other office equipment; call to see what their needs are. And while you're at it, ask if they have a "wish list" of big-ticket items they're hoping to get donated, such as building materials or vehicles. Tracking down such items is a wonderful way of volunteering for those who are too tender-hearted to work at the shelter. Depending on your powers of persuasion, you might be able to get needed items donated just by making a phone call or two to area businesses.

It doesn't take much from any one of us to make a big difference. It just takes enough of us to take the time to give, just a bit.

PETS ON THE WEB

Small local charities, with their low overheads and more hands-on programs, usually do more with your donation than large national organizations. With the big boys, you're too often giving to support high salaries and fund-raising programs -- luxuries smaller charities can't afford. (Some national charities pay executive management salaries in excess of a quarter-million dollars, and six-figure salaries are common in some well-known national groups.)

One of the best resources for researching charities large and small is Guidestar (www.guidestar.org), a Web site that puts the financials at your fingertips for free, so you can make an informed decision before writing that check. Hundreds of animal charities are in the Guidestar database, from one-person rescue groups to some of the largest national advocacy groups around. Don't give a dime until you know that you agree with the policies of any group, and are comfortable with how the money is being spent!

THE SCOOP

Recently I got an e-mail from a reader whose dog died a couple of days after being hit by a car. She was grieving for the dog but was also feeling guilty because a veterinarian said her pet probably wouldn't have died if she'd brought him in right after the accident.

The dog had seemed fine just after the accident. He'd taken a hit to his abdomen off the side of a front bumper. He was rolled by the impact but came up wagging his tail. He continued to seem OK for a day or so -- a few cuts and scrapes but nothing that appeared urgent enough to require veterinary attention. What she didn't know: The dog had internal injuries that needed medical attention. By the time she realized there was a problem and got her pet to the emergency clinic, it was too late to save him.

It's surely of little comfort to her to know that such stories are common. But maybe it will help some to save the life of another pet by spreading the word. So remember: If your pet is hit by a car, it's essential to have him checked out by a veterinarian right away.

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I have a 10-year-old female yellow Labrador/golden retriever mix. I am strongly considering adopting a male cat at the animal hospital where I work. He is timid, and my dog can be rambunctious. I hope the sex difference won't be a problem. What do you think? -- K.D., via e-mail

A. I don't think gender is an issue at all, but personality types might be. The pairing of a shy cat with a rambunctious dog could work out fine, but it might be a bit of a rough road at the start.

With so many adult cats needing adoption, you might instead consider finding one with a more gregarious personality who is comfortable living with a large dog. Shelters and rescue groups often have the background on those animals they are trying to place, and in lieu of background, may perform personality tests to get an idea on what kind of family will be a good match for any given animal.

If you do go ahead with the timid cat, make sure you take lots of time to help ease him in. Do not force the animals together. Start the cat off in a room of his own, door closed, with food, water, scratching post, litter box and toys. Visit him frequently, but leave the dog out. The cat will be more than aware of the dog's presence through the door.

Eventually, you can replace the closed door with a baby gate. Let the cat choose the speed of exploration: If he wants to stay in the room (or even under the bed) for a month, so be it. Work on keeping your dog in control, with sits, downs and stays, and keep her on leash in the cat's presence during the introduction phase. No chasing allowed, not even in play!

I'd leave the baby gate up for a long time even after the cat ventures out of the room, so he always has a safe place to go where the dog can't follow. You might be able to remove it down the road, when cat and dog settle in and seem comfortable in each other's presence.

Q: My 1-year-old beagle has had all her shots. We just picked her up from a one-week kennel stay. Now she is sneezing all the time. Is this something I should be concerned with? The sneezing has been going on for about five days. It usually happens when she starts to sniff with her nose. -- S.B., via e-mail

A: I'd surely have a veterinarian check things out. Among the possibilities: A foxtail may have gotten up her nose. If you catch a foxtail early, it's a snap for your veterinarian to treat. Let it go, and it can be a daunting proposition for vet, pet and pocketbook alike.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

One Christmas Eve many years ago, I decided to kill some time before heading over to a family gathering by cutting the nails on all my dogs. (Yes, I know it's odd, but I'll say in my own defense that the presents were already wrapped and I had nothing else to do.)

Somehow I managed to cut so deeply into one nail that I could not stop the bleeding. So instead of opening presents, I found myself opening my checkbook at the emergency clinic, along with a handful of other pet lovers with timing or luck just as bad as my own. Among them I remember a puppy with parvo, an ancient cat with breathing problems and a dog with ... tapeworms.

The last was hardly an emergency, but the pet's owner didn't know that. She'd seen something come out of her dog that she was convinced was a part of his intestine. The veterinary technician was kind enough to set her straight without charge and with instructions to visit her regular veterinarian after the holidays.

While it might be tempting to snicker at a person who didn't recognize a tapeworm, she was truly doing her pet a service. She thought something was wrong and didn't wait to find out what it was. That's much better than those people who wait to get sick animals treated, even when their pets are clearly in pain.

But how do you know when a situation is critical enough to find a veterinarian immediately? Anything is worth at least a call if you're not sure what's wrong, but some things require urgent attention. Here are some signs that should have you heading for your veterinarian's or for the emergency clinic:

-- Seizure, fainting or collapse.

-- Eye injury, no matter how mild.

-- Vomiting or diarrhea -- anything more than two or three times within an hour or so.

-- Allergic reactions, such as swelling around the face, or hives, most easily seen on the belly.

-- Any suspected poisoning, including antifreeze, rodent or snail bait or human medication. Cats are especially sensitive to insecticides (such as flea-control medication for dogs) or any petroleum-based product.

-- Snake or venomous spider bites.

-- Thermal stress -- from being either too cold or too hot -- even if the pet seems to have recovered. (The internal story could be quite different.)

-- Any wound or laceration that's open and bleeding, or any animal bite.

-- Trauma, such as being hit by a car, even if the pet seems fine. (Again, the situation could be quite different on the inside.)

-- Any respiratory problem: chronic coughing, trouble breathing or near drowning.

-- Straining to urinate or defecate.

Although some other problems aren't life threatening, they may be causing your pet pain and should be taken care of without delay. Signs of pain include panting, labored breathing, increased body temperature, lethargy, restlessness, crying out, aggression and loss of appetite. Some pets seek company when suffering, while others will withdraw.

When in doubt, err on the side of caution, always. Better to be dead wrong about a minor medical problem than to have a pet who's dead because you guessed wrong about a major one. Call your veterinary clinic or hospital before you need help and ask what arrangements the staff suggests for emergency or after-hours care. If your veterinarian refers clients to an emergency clinic after regular business hours, be sure you know which clinic, what the phone number is and how to get there.

I got lucky that Christmas Eve with a fast and relatively inexpensive resolution to my pet's emergency, but I'm always aware that next time I might not be so fortunate. Which is why I know whom to call and where to go whenever I need help for my pets. And also why I also have resolved never to clip nails on a holiday again.

PETS ON THE WEB

The Dog Boot Company (www.dogbootcompany.com) is all about keeping canine paws warm, clean and dry through all kinds of weather, with a collection of hard-wearing footwear for dogs of all sizes. Paw protection is not cheap -- four of the short boots will set you back $30, before shipping and handling -- but if you live in a place where snow and slush are part of walking the dog, boots might end up saving you some clean-up time in the house, as well as increased comfort for your dog. The company says the taller boots will stand up to field conditions as well, protecting the legs of hunting dogs from brambles and thorns.

THE SCOOP

Another idea to keep cats out of houseplants comes from reader Sharon Richardson. "During the 40 years my husband and I have been married, we have almost always been owned by a cat or two or more," she writes: "One of my best ideas has been to 'plant' faux greenery under the real plants where cats want to dig. Under a large split leaf philodendron I planted three curly Boston ferns by just sticking them in the soil. You would be surprised how good they look, certainly better than foil and such. The plastic greenery can be pulled out occasionally to be dusted by dunking them in a sinkful of water and dish detergent. Craft stores have a good assortment of plants that will work."

QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK

Q: I have a question about my dachshund. Her left eye tends to become very dry and will secrete a greenish fluid. My vet gave me an ointment to moisten her eye, but she hates having it put in so much that I think it might sting. My question is: Can I use any of the human, over-the-counter drops for her eyes? -- S.V., via e-mail

A: Whenever a medication your veterinarian gives you doesn't do the trick for any reason, you need to go back for further assistance. Every day I hear from people whose pets are still living with problems that would be treatable if their owners had pursued follow-up care. A medication may need to be stronger, given longer or may need to be changed, decisions that can be made only by a veterinarian.

Since those of use who are not veterinarians are often way off the mark when it comes to a proper diagnosis, I advise that over-the-counter remedies be purchased and used only as part of treatment program recommended by your veterinarian. If you don't know what you're treating, an over-the-counter remedy could be a waste of money, and could possibly do more harm than good.

Q: My wife recently returned after visiting the home of some friends. While there, she evidently picked up some fleas from their dog. We killed one and identified it from pictures. How do we inform the family that their home and dog are infested with fleas? -- G.P., via e-mail

A: This seems more like an etiquette question than a pet question, but I'll blunder ahead anyway. If you think they'll take the news in the helpful spirit in which you offer it, then be frank with them. If you think it would harm the friendship, think up reasons for them to visit in your home -- and leave their dog behind. For the good of their suffering dog, though, I hope you can be honest with them. I used to get questions like yours all the time, along with hundreds of other flea-related pieces of mail. But these days, I don't get many flea questions, thanks to the topical monthly flea-control medications Frontline and Advantage.

The bad old days I do not miss, either as a pet columnist or as a pet keeper. I used to dip my poor dogs in products so vile that they gave me asthma, and were barely effective at keeping the parasites in check. And my own mother, who's very sensitive to flea bites, would neither visit my home nor allow my dogs in hers.

Since the new generation of flea-control remedies came out a few years back, I haven't seen a flea on any of my pets, even when I lived for a few months in Florida, where the warm, moist climate is flea paradise and my dogs swam every day. The new medications stood up to this most difficult of tests.

My mother feels safe in visiting my home these days -- the only danger now is dog kisses. I hope your friends will also catch on to modern flea-control so your wife will be comfortable visiting in their home again and their dog will be spared the misery of the constant torment of these tiny pests.

Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600